Blame is a way we discharge pain.
We blame others, hurling insults and digging our heels into the cushy comfort of self-righteous indignation.
Or we blame ourselves. We beat ourselves up. We call ourselves names like “loser” and “failure.” And then we wonder why we feel small, alone and sick to our stomachs.
Next time you notice you are blaming someone or blaming yourself, no matter why, try getting curious instead of launching an attack.
Ask yourself:
- What am I feeling that makes me want to judge my friend right now?
- What I am I feeling that makes me judge myself right now?
- What am I feeling that makes me criticize or belittle myself or someone else right now?
- What am I feeling that makes me want to overeat, over-drink, obsess or ruminate right now?
- What is happening right now that I just popped out of my skin and became self-conscious? What is going on here?
No doubt there is emotion involved.
To continue reading this essay by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, go to: http://psychcentral.com/blog/a...lame-game-hurts-you/
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