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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

August 2016

Advice from a Parent Advocate: Communicating With Your Caseworker (risemagazine.org)

Interview with Toni Miner, Family Support Partner When the child welfare system first came into Toni Miner’s life, she felt shamed and blamed and not supported. For many years, Miner hid her problems—and that led child welfare to come back into her life. Today, as a family support partner in Jefferson County, Colorado, and a member of the Birth Parent National Network, Miner believes it’s still too hard for parents to be open about their struggles, but she also sees that families do better...

What If Everything You Knew About Disciplining Kids Was Wrong? (www.motherjones.com)

We're learning so much all of the time and it's exciting to hear about how trauma informed some schools are becoming. My dream is that all parents can become trauma-informed as well, for the sake of our children and for making changes for future generations but also for our healing and recovery as well. It's all related. Most of this article is geared towards school systems but it's relevant to anyone who loves and cares about children. It was first published last summer. It's still...

Hillary Clinton’s Comprehensive Agenda on Mental Health [The Briefing—Fact Sheets]

The first bullet under Early Diagnosis and Intervention of today’s release of Hillary Clinton’s mental health agenda is titled “ Increase public awareness and take action to address maternal depression, infant mental health, and trauma and stress in the lives of young children.” It states “We also know that infant mental health depends on children forming close and secure relationships with the adults in their lives, and that too many children are growing up in environments that cause them...

5 Ways Caring Parents Make Teen Anxiety Worse (heysigmund.com)

Your happy-go-lucky child has turned into an anxiety-ridden teen . It is a painful thing to watch. Activities that were once enjoyable are now avoided. Going to school is a daily miracle. Instead of driving to the mall, you are driving to the doctor with mysterious stomach issues. So how do you make this nightmare go away? How do parents help with teen anxiety? You can start off learning what not to do – and then go from there. Teen anxiety can look very similar among teens, but how parents...

Putting the Power of Self-Knowledge to Work (www.nytimes.com) & Commentary

I would have posted this fabulous New York Times article by David Bornstein even if our own Jane Stevens wasn't quoted in it... but she is. Her wonderful words and ideas are central in this story and so much of the ACEs work many of us are doing. She's a part of what has brought us all here and why we stay. AND also, there's this wonderful quote and image, which are so much what this Parenting with ACEs group is all about. Isn't that great? Check out and share the entire series if you can.

Trigger Season (www.lilacsinoctober.wordpress.com)

Beautiful writing from Arwen Faulkner . For survivors of adversity, there's no way to trigger proof life. Fall doesn't come with a warning. Trauma and adversity change the way we experience ourselves and the world, maybe how we sleep or don't sleep and how we function or struggle to function. While parenting or working or breathing. Certain days or entire seasons. Some mornings. Some nights. Every night at certain times. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. On the wrong side of myself. I...

Therapeutic Parenting Journal & Attachment Trauma Network

Has anyone else heard of the Therapeutic Parenting Journal put out by the Attachment Trauma Network (ATN)? There are three issues a year and they come as part of the $50. annual membership fee. I've not joined before but am going to because I love virtually everything they post on Facebook. It's a great group if you are parenting kids with ACEs and/or if you are looking to understand how ACEs impact children. Or both. If you work with kids who have had lots of ACEs I have to think the...

Breaking the Cycle: Parenting After Being Raised in Hell (www.thefix.com)

Parenting with ACEs & Parenting After Trauma: If you write or read any essays or articles about parenting with ACEs, please share them. I'll make sure to do the same. Resources are welcome as well. The only abuser left in your life,” a yoga therapist said to me once, “is you.” When I talked about what a lazy, gruesome idiot I was another therapist would say, “Your self hears you.” She would look at me and wince at the way I was slicing and dicing myself on my own dime. I didn’t even...

Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and All-Cause Mortality Rates in Women (www.archpsyc.jamanetwork.com)

Another study about child abuse, early death and I feel motivated and scared as a mom wtih PTSD from childhood ACEs. How about you? I don't want to die early. I feel I've paid quite enough for my childhood and don't wish to pay some more. I don't want to worry. I also want to be healthy, know my risks and figure out what i can do to promote better health. Here's some news from the "Conclusions and Relevance" portion of the JAMA Psychiatry Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and...

The Science Behind Pregnant Fathers (www.huffingtonpost.com)

Before we discuss the science of my being a pregnant father I should divulge that I’ve also been a pregnant grandfather. I know there is much controversy nowadays around imagining that I am pregnant when my wife is the one navigating morning sickness, hormone flooding, weight gain, back pains, labor pains, fears of all of the above and so much more, but the fact is that a mother-to-be or a mother who is about-to-be-a-mother-again needs all the help she can possibly muster and if deciding...

Helping Children Succeed—Without the Stress [TheAtlantic.com]

In the now-famous “marshmallow” experiments, researchers at Stanford tested preschoolers’ self-control and ability to delay gratification by sitting them in a room alone with a tempting treat and measuring how long they were able to wait. Years later, those kids who resisted temptation the longest also tended to have the highest academic achievement. In fact, their ability to delay eating the marshmallow was a better predictor of their future academic success than their IQ scores. Further...

In Oregon, Police Departments Are Changing Sexual Assault Reporting (www.wbur.org) & Commentary & Questions for YOU

"There is a series of 20 elements to the program. There may be a victim that steps forward that wants two or three of us those. We don't put what we believe someone needs on the person who was victimized. We let them tell us what they need and that's a real shift from the traditional law enforcement response which can be pretty assumptive of what someone needs or wants or should want if they've been victimized." Detective, Carrie Hall on WBUR's Here and Now program today speaking about the...

The Development of Play Skills From Birth to 3 (www.zerotothree.com)

I have a tween now so I'm no longer on the floor most of the time. But I spent a lot of my daughter's early life being down on the ground. I remember being a bit shocked by how important crawling and exploring the world, from all fours was supposed to be and that for a child there's little except food and love needed more than play. Also, my child seemed mysterious at time. Though I knew many others parented for all of recorded time, she was my first kid and so it was my first time...

National Parent Survey Overview and Key Insights (www.zerotothree.org) & Commentary

Thanks to Jane I just discovered this FABULOUS website - Zero to Three . The thing I love most is the same thing I love about the entire ACEs Connection community. It's a blend or research, personal experiences and social policy all blended into a fabulous incubator for social change. The Zero to Three website which has resources, articles, videos and podcasts too. It's ALL good. But today I'm going to share some insights from a parent survey recently done. The results are fascinating. It's...

How to Help Students by Helping Their Parents [RWJF.org]

We’re all well aware that education leads to better jobs and higher income. Just as important, research also links education to reduced risk of illness, increased vitality, longevity and academic success that extends to future generations . That’s why the situation for schools in Lawrence, Mass., was particularly concerning back in 2010. At the time, more than one out of every four Lawrence kids dropped out of high school . This led the Massachusetts Department of Education to put Lawrence’s...

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