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This is a marvelous place to use Tapping and Emotional First-Aid.  

1) For you: I can be of service to you, if you like.  

2) For you AND others: when triggered, as you are, as is your dog...there is little access to rational resources.  To stabilize and regain calm access, your body's threat response must be interrupted, soothed and quelled, then the situation deconstructed. This method of brief, focused exposure while simultaneously accessing your body's nervous system and threat cycle through somatic and kinesthetic activation, have been shown (in thousands of case histories and 43 RCT published in peer-reviewed journals) to quickly decrease stress hormones, re-set the ANS, and begin re-encoding and re-consolidating the troubling event memory into a more calm, rational narrative.  One by one we access and unpack what Dr. Robert Scaer calls 'the trauma capsule,' de-potentiating each activated aspect.

More, if wanted.  Hoping for all good things for you, your service dog who depends upon you as well, and your child, and that your neighbor and her dog, doing as it has been trained by her to do, may change as you do. Kind regards.

To the writer:

im not sure this is the right venue to discuss the issue you are describing.  That said, please consider the following:

1) Utilize a community mediator.  This is a very tense situation that could escalate rapidly without support.

2) Write and call your local government representative.

3) Recognize that the neighbor's behavior is not about you.  This conflict has brought up an "old" story for you and for your neighbor.

4) Engage with your own therapist/ counselor to work on the fear, rage, and helplessness you are feeling so strongly.  You may need to acquire some skills to regulate your own feelings before you can productively address the issue with your neighbor.

5) Consider your safety before attempting contact with this neighbor.  Consider avoiding engaging directly with your neighbor.  Utilize another route, mode of transportation, dog park, etc. as much as possible.  Continue to utilize community supports, as needed.  Keep a diary of what has been tried and what continues to happen.

Peace.

Krys

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