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I'm looking for some help in developing ACES questions for a local elementary school's family fun night.

Parents and their students will stop by our station, and we'll ask them an ACES question for a chance to win a gift card. The questions should be points of departure that can spark interest in learning/discussing more about ACES. They can be for the parents or the students.

Thoughts?

Here's an example of one:

"Who is one adult you could talk to if you're having a bad day?"

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HI Lee- one of our community partners had an idea for kids to play a game. She created a large "stress wheel" and got suction cupped darts for kids to try and aim for the green middle section of the wheel (See HERE for a write up about it).  Sorry i am not being very articulate but it was a good conversation starter - where are you on the wheel - what do you do when you get into the red, etc...  we also had smaller stress wheels to hand out and info about our Resilient Yolo community meetings.

See Christina Bethell's 2014 paper in Health Affairs  "Our findings suggest that building resilience—defined in the survey as “staying calm and in control when faced with a challenge,” for children ages 6–17—can ameliorate the negative impact of adverse childhood experiences.  Perhaps questions focused on how do you stay calm and steady when you face a challenge http://content.healthaffairs.o.../33/12/2106.abstract

Hi, Lee: It sounds as if you plan to ask questions about resilience instead of ACEs. I think asking questions about resilience is great, and providing information about ACEs after a parent or student answers a resilience question would be extremely useful. You can check out this parent handout about ACEs and resilience (in Spanish), and in our Resources Center, you can find several types of resilience questionnaires, including surveys that ask about resilience factors in an adult's life now, as well as those that were present during their childhood. 

Jane, I think you're spot on - - personally, I dread the thought of putting Qs about ACEs into a "fun night", but Resilience is a totally different thing. But, I'm wondering if it could be more linked to general coping style rather than a one-off fun activity - - the former I think is more closely related to resilience - - examine the research on "centrality of focus" on traumatic events and the difference in outcomes - - Posttraumatic Growth vs PTSD - - mediated by coping style. 

Hi Lee:

What's the goal for the night? Are you hoping parents will get curious about the ACE test and study? Are you hoping to help parents understand their own stress? For me, learning about ACEs was fun because it empowered the heck out of my parenting and helped (and still helps me) prioritize parenting and self-care. 

I talk about the ACE test as the only one you want your kid to flunk. And even if we, as parents, ACEd the ACE test, we can help it so our kids do not. To me, that's giving my kid an ACE advantage I didn't have. , which is what those with no or low scores have compared with high scores. 

For me, understanding the burden of high ACE scores gives me compassion for myself, as a parent, and motivation to make sure my kids has less ACEs, first, and more support even for the ACEs that weren't prevented.  It means I know that even if I can't change the past I can change the future. For me, that is fun. And once I understand that, I'll even attempt to participate in the things I might have thought were soft, fluffy and nice if you had lots of time and money (mushy, gushy joy and sweetness). But before understanding ACEs, stress, toxic stress, I honestly felt too mired down and busy for fun. Winning a gift card might have got me to stop, for sure though. Or it was a gift card to a toy store and my kid wanted to stop and fill out the form, or whatever, that too would work.  

For some, resilience talk is super exciting and empowering. For me, it didn't engage me because it seemed too trait specific like I was trying to make my kid or some different kind of person or personality. Which for me, didn't feel fun or even possible. But I know I can change circumstances and if she can have ANY advantage, and a lower ACE score is a BIG advantage, I want that for her. 

I think you try languaging it a few different ways and see what works or what doesn't and keep at it. And please come back and tell us here how it went since others are doing similar things. 

Cissy 

Group Manager, Parenting with ACEs

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