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I am a 50 year old woman.  I have been through tons of abuse all my life and trying to get help has just been re-traumatising.  Also I am very physically ill and have not gotten any proper medical help despite trying.  I need to find someone who has an understanding who can help me.  Learning about all this is great and I understand and relate to it very well, but how do I get help to heal?  I am in Woodstock, NY 12498.

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Hi, Juliana,

I just wanted to say welcome. I wish I could help you, but I'm not a practitioner of trauma therapy or anything like that, so I'm less qualified to respond to your question than many members of this site. Weekends tend to be pretty quiet around here, so I am guessing that come Monday, you'll see suggestions from others on here who can help answer your question. If for some reason that doesn't happen, then I will reach out to some who can help you and I will follow up with you. Just didn't want you to be left hanging!

Take care,

Laura

 

 

 

Juliana Ferris posted:

I am a 50 year old woman.  I have been through tons of abuse all my life and trying to get help has just been re-traumatising.  Also I am very physically ill and have not gotten any proper medical help despite trying.  I need to find someone who has an understanding who can help me.  Learning about all this is great and I understand and relate to it very well, but how do I get help to heal?  I am in Woodstock, NY 12498.

Juliana:

Thanks for reaching out. Making all of the amazing research actionable and useful for those hurting and suffering from ACEs impacts in the present - that's a huge goal of mine. My reasons are both personal (lots of ACEs myself and want to live healthy and happy and long) and professional (to help those in helping professions not to re-traumatize when the intention is so very otherwise). 

I too immediately searched for the what to do about high ACEs immediately after I found out what ACEs were and why some of the medical model help had been so re-traumatizing. It's how I ended up at ACEsTooHigh and ACEs Connection and both sites have lots to offer.

I can't say there are a bunch of phone numbers and websites or a rating system of what actually helps those with ACEs as determined and defined by those who need the help most. However, a lot of people are very aware and getting more and more ACEs informed and trauma-informed. Lots of them are on this site. What might help?

  • Use the search feature on this site. Type in your state and see people and resources in your area to help sort through all that's available and connect with those closest to you (who might help with more local resources).
  • Communities grouped by topic or geography can help. For example, there's a new community about Practicing Resilience (self-care & healing) and others like Parenting with ACEs (you don't have to be a parent to be in it, it's a lot about being an adult with ACEs learning what ACEs are and recovering from ACEs for ourselves and the next generation). There are lots of others. See list.
    • You can even bring questions to those special-interest groups and share some of the resources you are finding that are helpful and blog/share about that because you are not alone and might be able to support and guide others if you have energy/interest.
  • Past /Future Chats (search chats above on home page and Chats within Parenting with ACEs). 
  • Past comments in posts here and on ACEs Too High can help you find others sharing personal views and reflections.
  • On ACEs Too High, there are TONS of stories about what people are doing with ACEs science in their own lives and communities. There are some personal essays as well. I blab a lot about my own recovery search and healing efforts hoping to make others feel less alone. This article is about my own experience trying to get medical help as well as emotional support. It's just my own experience and not prescriptive for others. But you aren't alone in looking. 
  • Survivor-led initiatives and experiences are all over ACEs Too High and ACEs Connection and lots write from a personal and / or professional lens. A few that come immediately to mind are @Svava Brooks, @Kathy Brous, @Lisa Frederiksen@Carey Sipp but there are LOTS of others) and I hope people will link to their own writing and resources where relevant. 

Finally, the things I have found that help most (and are free or close to free) are guided imagery with Belleruth Naparstek, Rick Hanson on our brains bias for bad and how to help them to find and recognize safety), yoga nidra. Though I've not tried neurofeedback (Sebern Fisher) or somatic processing (Peter Levine) or hypnosis or EMDR for complex trauma, those are things that can help (and others are listed in Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa). In fact, she'll be chatting with Jane Stevens next Tues. so bring your question about what helps and look up all she's written as well. 

I'm sorry that while looking for and needing help, there's still so much do-it-yourself patching together resources to do. That's just hard and I wish it were otherwise. I hope something in here is helpful. Shoot me a message if you need some help finding any of these resources, o.k.? 

Cissy

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