This is a time of incredible stress, uncertainty and change across the world. Unlike many stressful experiences, we don’t know when the impact of the Covid-19 will ease so that life can return to something closer to normal. We just know that our lives have been impacted in ways we could not have anticipated only a few months ago. Here I want to provide you a little something that might help you get through this.
When It’s Too Much Toolkit
A few years ago in response to the fires in Sonoma County, a few colleagues and I put together the When It’s Too Much Toolkit, a toolkit designed to help reduce stress when things are difficult. I want to share that toolkit with you now since this may be a really stressful time for you. Please feel free to share it with others as well. Here’s an excerpt:
“In order for the effects of whatever is too much to become part of your history rather something that lingers, you must give yourself time and space to feel your emotions and discharge any survival energy that may be lingering. The emotions and discharge will come in waves and can come at inconvenient times and places. Have as much compassion for yourself and others as possible when you notice these experiences. It might look messy. You probably won’t have it all together. That’s okay. That’s how disasters can impact your nervous system.”
Take The Time To Feel
I believe giving ourselves time and space to feel whatever feelings we have about what’s happening is one of the most important things we can do to nurture ourselves during this crazy time. If the feelings feel too big, check in with what the feelings are trying to communicate. You might feel angry that it’s happening and want it to stop. You might feel sad that you have to shelter in place and can’t be with friends and family. You might feel scared that your finances are uncertain. All of that is totally understandable. This is a very important time to differentiate between feeling emotions and choosing what to do when we become aware of them. Really give the feelings some time and be curious about them. Feeling them first is really important so we don’t spiral in them. There is plenty of time to decide what actions to take, if any, once you give your feelings some space. There is nothing inherently wrong or dangerous about feeling angry or sad. It’s the reactive behaviors driven by the feelings that often cause us problems.
Get support from others if you need it. So many of us survive by pretending not to need help or that we always have it all together. This is a time to put that strategy down if you can and get the support you need to help you get through this.
Giving yourself time to feel will also allow you to hold space for others to feel without you getting so triggered by their feelings. Just because they have strong feelings doesn’t mean you have to solve their problems or resolve their feelings. Your simple presence is a huge, powerful gift in these uncertain times.
We Will Get Through This
I believe we will get through this even though our lives may look quite different on the other side. It is my hope that through all of this we will come closer together in love and connection both with ourselves and everyone around us, creating the stronger families and communities that we all crave.
This article was originally published on March 26, 2020 at suziegruber.com.
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