A Parent's Painful Journey Continues.....who is failing whom?

This is the second letter from an amazing mother that demonstrates how high stakes testing has victimized her gifted daughter. Both mother and daughter have a significant ACE score, but they are an inspiration of resilience and determination. I believe her painful journey will impact you as it has impacted me. As you read her letter, pay close attention to the silence and deaf ears. Ask yourself, "Who is failing Who?"

Dear Teri and Jim,

I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. I was waiting to respond till after my meeting with our local superintendant, Mr. XXXX, which I had yesterday.

I've been playing mental and physical ping pong with XXXXXXXX High School principal Ms. XXXXX and our superintendant. Mr. XXXXXX tells me he can do nothing:weeks ago during a phone call, where I confided a very personal account of what my daughter has been experiencing. Most of the time there was dead silence on the other end.....he wasn't listening, placating me if anything. At the end of our conversation all he could say is that he could do nothing, and that it sounded like I had covered all my bases. Last week when I had a meeting with the principal she mentions that the super does have the power to allow my daughter to 'walk' during graduation. So, I run back to the super. Hence my meeting yesterday to discuss this power he supposedly didn't have or just forgot.............hmmmm.

The following week I had a meeting with the principal, which included my daughter. We discuss the averaging of grades with others that have passed the EOC with those that have not. Of course my daughter's were too low, so, that option was crossed off the list. I want you to know that the only time any alternatives were discussed was at the beginning of the school year, when, one of the math teachers mentioned the Collection of Evidence. He had never administered one, but when my daughter asked him about it, he made it seem far too difficult if not impossible for her to complete, so, we opted out of it. "All' of the other alternatives were never discussed. It wasn't until the middle of the school year that we found out about them from a stranger. Now, why didn't the school advice our children with these alternatives at the beginning of the school year so they could prepare?

We did discuss doing the Collection of Evidence again with the principal at this same meeting. We were prepared to try it, explore the few remaining options that we still have, given all of the time restraints. However, we brought the COE to our tutor and he said that these tests were problems that he even had difficulty with, for one, he had to read the first problem four times before he knew precisely what they were asking. As you know these seven or eight problems get progressively harder, and this was the first and supposedly easiest of them all. He also went on to say that even his physics students would have difficulty completing them and thought at least fifty percent of them would fail this test. After speaking with him and knowing how my daughter learns, we determined that this was something my daughter could not possibly complete and would create an even bigger stress load than she is already carrying. I was not going to take a chance of jeopardizing my daughter's health any further.

As of now, we are scheduled to take the SAT, and hopefully score high enough in math and take the End of Course test again, even though we will not know the results of the EOC till after graduation. In addition, I have discussed my daughter's predicament with the college she will be attending and I believe that they will work with us should she not pass the EOC.

As for my meeting with the superintendant yesterday, well, it's still a mystery as to what 'walking' during the graduation means. He said he will have to talk with the principal and get back to us. I did mention ACE, and well, you don't want to hear his analogy, something about not getting a gun license if he failed the test, which would have resulted in him not keeping his job when he worked in the fire department: there were others that failed the test, and their personal problems were never taken into account. What I took from that comparison is that there are no excuses.

I can tell you as an adult that had ACE(it never goes away does it?), I appreciate you identifying it for me. So helpful to know that my condition and my daughter's is 'real.' When you suffer from ACE's your mind just shuts down when it comes to abstract concepts. It's hard to put it in words, the blankness that sweeps over you is overwhelming. I do believe that trained people can help children overcome this condition and go onto excel in any subject that poses a challenge. Sadly there is never enough money to fund this. No kid wants to fail. In the past I tried to convey this to our principal when they offered to have the math teacher stay after and help. But all he would do is sit in the back of the classroom and if kids wanted help they had to come and ask him questions. How do kids ask for help when they don't even know where to begin? I told the principal this was an ineffective approach, but to no avail. She just looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. No one wants to take any accountability for these kids failing the EOC, most of all in Xxxxxxxx where my daughter stands alone.......indelicately stated by Ms.XXXXXXXX.

Our story is one of thousands,many reasons why one test is not the right approach. I hope that educators will look at it this testing holisticly and put and end to it. Only harm can come from it, perhaps, the true ulterior motives are not clear to me, all I see is the negative effect it is having on my child and without a doubt, many more.

Teri, Jim, thank you so very, very, much, for taking the time to write me and offer your help, I'am deeply and forever grateful. I hope someday our paths will cross and I can thank you in person.

Until then, positive thoughts and wishes,