“Are you the lady that fights for us” (outoftheshadows.blog)


The story I said I would never tell.

A few years ago, I worked with a girl, we will call her Gemma.

When I met Gemma, she was 13 years old. She was in care, as were all her sisters and her mum still lived in the local area.

Gemma had gone onto care about 18 months before I met her. Her younger sister had disclosed that “Grandad” had been doing things to her, but also said, “Not as bad as what happens to Gemma”.

What transpired was that the mother had been sexually abused since she was a child by her father and his friends. Her own mum had known about it and done nothing to stop it. Fast forward a few years and the mother had several girls of her own, including Gemma.

Mum had continued to allow her father to be part of her life, and her children’s, despite the history of abuse. Gemma’s sister disclosed that when they went to see Grandad, all the girls (Not Gemma) were made to lay in a row and Grandad would inappositely touch them. Sometimes there were other men. Mum knew, according to the sister, but said that Grandad was not allowed to do anything “Bad” to the girls.

That was saved for Gemma.

When I met Gemma, she was off the rails. She was running away from her placement often and smoking weed. She would not listen to anyone at school. I was asked to try and work with her and keep her in mainstream education.

But here is the thing…how can I convince a child to go to maths when she keeps talking about how her mum “Pimped her out”?


 Read more of Kendra Houseman's heart-wrenching description of helping young helpless girls overcome their horrific stories at    https://outoftheshadows.blog/2...tter_impression=true

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Thanks, Ruth, I really am in awe of all the brave and kind human beings like you and Kendra who have taken it on themselves to help and save another struggling soul. It must be really tough, having to live through the pain of these girls. I don't think I can do that, at least not currently. 

Yes, I am well, thanks. You're always in my thoughts & prayers. Love & hugs

Thank you for posting this Cheryl. It's a heart-wrenching story that I can relate to big time. I'm working with a couple of victims/survivors right now that I did not intend to work with. I want to break away from it all, but I know I can't do that either. I have been at the emergency department with her overdosing four times now. Intentional overdoses. SHe refuses help and is very manipulative. Helping her and protecting myself is a balancing act.

Back when I was in "the life" I blurted out my shame story to even strangers before. I was so desperate for somebody to hear me out. Nobody wanted to hear it. Now I understand why. The vicariuos trauma and the triggers have to be managed too. It's not easy, but it IS so much better to be on this side of the fence. Now, ......most of the time, I'm the strong one. I gotta keep a balance and I gotta keep my eyes and ears open. I hope you are well Cheryl. Hugs!