What if your dreams weren’t just dreams? What if, despite childhood trauma, we could have that life that we fantasize about? Would you take the chance to find out, or are you too paralyzed by fear?
I remember lying on my bedroom floor and feeling the concrete beneath me on frigid cold winter nights and thinking to myself that there must be something more out there. Growing up in poverty and abuse is a surefire way to either engulf or ignite a child’s dream. I looked at my life as a discerning ten-year-old and knew that it just wasn’t right. Happiness seemed to be abundant all around me; the only problem was there didn’t seem to be any leftover for me. I was malnourished, bruised, and scared. All I wanted was for Mr. Bigs to pull up in the Rolls and Annie me away to safety. That didn’t happen.
My something more would take another 20 years to realize fully. I sough love, kindness, connection, humanity, shelter, security, peace, and hope-all of which in their own right were a life or death battle to obtain. And in seeking those amenities that should belong to all human beings, I found myself in a place of learning the most important lesson that a childhood trauma survivor can be taught, that you can have what you want in life, but you have to work for it.
The climb to what I define as success in my lift was a decade in the making. How do you accept love when you don’t love yourself? How do you believe you can reach goals when you don’t write them down and push yourself towards them? How do you know what security is when you have been too vulnerable to be seen for who you are? I was buried in questions that I had to ask myself because no one had taught me that it was OK or allowed me to have what I wanted in life.
As survivors of abuse as children, we find ourselves putting ourselves second. For many of us, we lack any kind of self-esteem. For others, our narrative is so skewed that we believe that we don’t deserve what we see others have. My experience was a mix of both. And it wasn’t until I got to a place that I was constantly questioning my understanding of who I am that I was finally able to step onto the path of creating a change and reframing. From that moment, it was a decade of hard work in healing trauma, learning self-care, recognizing self-sabotage patterns, pushing myself mentally and physically, and understanding the power of simply writing my dreams and goals.
I had no idea where to begin in healing cptsd or understanding how to get there, but I knew within the questions the road would present itself. I think there are two questions that you have to start with.
- What am I willing to do to have the life that I want?
- Am I willing to accept that on the other side of this effort that I might get the thing that I so desperately want?
The secret that they don’t want you to know is that you are allowed to have the life that you want on your terms, but you are going to have to get yourself there through a lot of trials by fire.
Until next time my friend…
Be Unbroken,
-Michael
P.S. You can take my brand new 1-hour course: The Key to Healing for FREE. Click Here:www.linktr.ee/michaelunbroken
Michael@ThinkUnbroken.com
Comments (0)