ACEs studies usually focus on the bigger, more tangible adverse experiences in a child’s life. However, there are a number of minor stressors that may not be really traumatic for kids not going through significant ACEs, are nevertheless devastating to a child already going through trauma.
A week before my mother died I had shared a secret about another girl to my best friend. After I returned to school post my mother’s death, I realized my best friend had revealed what I had shared with the girl concerned. Both of them ganged up and shunned me, I was an outcast. My relationship with my best friend ended. It was devastating. My 11-year-old self concluded, my mother's death was a punishment for telling tales about others
Not even a month after my mother died, a cousin 10 years older tried to sexually molest me. Moreover, my paternal grandmother blamed me ‘Saying just like her mother” How does an 11-year-old react to that shaming and besmirching my beloved mother's character,
My brother very loving and protective up to my mother’s death violently banged my head on the wall to stop me from intruding on his boy talk. The second closest relationship in my life was shattered one month after my mother died. Read More