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I took seven years off work, focused on me and this is what happened

It wasn’t something I saw coming. I was pretty solid. I’d been at my job for twenty-seven years; owned my own home and really thought I knew what I was doing in this life. Then, out of the blue, I nearly died, then after taking time away from work, I returned to learn my assistant was getting fired. I was physically and emotionally being tested and I wasn’t up to the challenge. I had no choice but to step away. The problem was, once I’d rested and processed the shock and drama of it all, even with a great reputation, no one wanted to hire me.

Now I see this as divine intervention which had coincidentally began on Easter 2012. Scrambling to keep up I did a quick refi on my home, went on unemployment and kept looking but as nothing came about I realized I needed to make some serious changes. So I did. It started when I noticed I had a house packed with stuff, most of which I didn’t need, so I started letting things go. Then I decided to tackle my lifelong nemesis of weight, but I knew there was more to it for me diet and exercise, so I began hypnotherapy. Which was good because by now quite a few people were sure I’d lost my mind. By the end of the year I’d sold most everything I owned including my house and moved closer to my son, because I’d also realized what a terrible mother I’d been.

Hypnotherapy led me to discover exactly how much childhood trauma I’d endured and kept hidden. Food had replaced love in my life and my emotions had been shut down at an early age from some pretty painful experiences. I learned how I’d fallen into my life rather than chosen it because of my father’s influence. And knowing the root causes of my dysfunction helped me take responsibility for myself and my feelings. As each piece of the pain was processed and released I was being lifted out of the fog my life had been. I used each trigger that pushed me towards overeating as a clue to release more.

As a result, seven years later I have removed all of the repressed pain and am no longer triggered in a compulsive addictive way and as a bonus, I stumbled upon mindfulness.  It seems once you do the work of freeing your subconscious of all the old emotional baggage, fear, insecurity and limiting beliefs from trauma and conditioning, you become conscious and far more spiritually connected. Mindfulness and happiness arrive once the fear from the past and the worry for the future are released, which, for me was a result of facing myself for the first time in my life.

During this time I became a certified life coach and I now work as an emotional wellness coach, helping others to pinpoint the core of dysfunctional behavior. I'm in the process of putting together some no cost workshops and course to help others learn how to do the work it took me so long to do, in a much shorted time. 

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Tina Hahn, MD posted:

I just started Year 2.  

I wish that doctors and therapists had a better understanding of what questions to ask the patient to know how early things started going South because you gotta know what happened to you and when it happened to you so you even know what to try to fix or where to begin, and you need to know that you might have missed some critical periods of development that can’t be repaired.  Too many patients don’t know how deep the damage is or how far back they need to go because we doctors don’t know either and we often lead our patients far astray without even knowing it.  Lots of us have injury from a time before there were words.  If nothing else, with all this #TraumaInformed buzz, I hope that medicine becomes humble concerning the extent of our knowledge. We have a long way to go. 

Congrats on the Coaching Business. 

Agreed.  Change can be very hard for those who have been doing things one way for a long time or who have a certain buy in around a belief system. Medical and therapeutic professionals have been looked at as healers taking on the responsibility for patients.

I believe this has created a huge disconnect because the truth is we have the answers  from within, and can be empowered to take responsibility for our own healing, by working instead with those whose focus is to empower rather than heal.

 This is why coaching can be so effective because it's about pinpointing the exact emotion that's creating the block or dysfunctional behavior at the moment  and then doing the work from their.

My personal coaching style is to go back to the original root because that's the work I've done myself. Once we locate the root within childhood sometimes the awareness is enough or sometimes we need to revisit  that time in a regressed state and release the repressed emotion fully to release its grip. 

 It's not unusual for clients to tell me they have been in therapy for many years and to have breakthroughs in as few as 3 coaching sessions that create lasting change once the client takes ownership. 

It may be that I have a very unusual method because I was so blessed to take all this time to do my own healing. Whatever it is I'm so grateful and hope I can communicate this in a way that will resonate and help many others. 

 

 

 

Gail Kennedy (ACEs Connection Staff) posted:

Thanks for sharing your story (so far!).  Do you include awareness about ACEs in your life coaching?  
Be well, gail

Hi Gail, yes, but I just refer to it as childhood trauma. Every block or dysfunctional behavior seems to have its roots there. 

I just started Year 2.  

I wish that doctors and therapists had a better understanding of what questions to ask the patient to know how early things started going South because you gotta know what happened to you and when it happened to you so you even know what to try to fix or where to begin, and you need to know that you might have missed some critical periods of development that can’t be repaired.  Too many patients don’t know how deep the damage is or how far back they need to go because we doctors don’t know either and we often lead our patients far astray without even knowing it.  Lots of us have injury from a time before there were words.  If nothing else, with all this #TraumaInformed buzz, I hope that medicine becomes humble concerning the extent of our knowledge. We have a long way to go. 

Congrats on the Coaching Business. 

Great post. Thank you! I, too, wonder if you talk about ACEs.

And I hope your relationship with your son grew healthier?

Peace.

Carey Sipp

Last edited by Carey Sipp
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