Mem Lang posted: 
It must be good to know that some countries ban smacking (but can they ear/leg pull!?). 

No ear pulling allowed either!

Here is the language in their assault codes:

"Children are entitled to care, security, and a good upbringing. Children are to be treated with respect for their person and individuality and may not be subjected to physical punishment or other injurious or humiliating treatment."

The countries that have banned spanking are following the language set forth in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child which all countries, with the exception of the US, have ratified.

Agree with you both.  Especially that physical abuse is also emotional abuse, Robbyn.  

I guess it's safer to talk about than the others you mentioned Jane, but I also think there's something to add to this that I can't quite figure out, atm. Hmm.

Herein lies a great conversation, about the intricacies of this, but I suspect it's one of those conversations that'd be better face to face...!

Interestingly, I was talking today with some colleagues about two incidences of ear pulling, which I know you would agree is physical (and emotional) abuse, especially when leaving a tear(!), yet somehow whilst this was deemed as not ok, it doesn't get the same reaction as smacking , by both the bystander and perpetrator.

Lots of work still to do.  Thank you to you and all the people working so hard to get the message out there.  It must be good to know that some countries ban smacking (but can they ear/leg pull!?).  

Mem -- I've heard plenty of people say they thought that they deserved (i.e., brought on) their sexual abuse, before they had come to the understanding that it wasn't their fault. Same with verbal abuse. It's just that more people feel comfortable talking about being spanked than they do their sexual or verbal abuse, or, for that matter, having a family member who's incarcerated or witnessing their mother being battered.

Mem. Interesting question. It is stunning the degree to which people will defend spanking as discipline, but wouldn't think of defending other forms of abuse. Of course, hitting a child is also emotional abuse. It is the transfer of ones own shame into the child. I wonder if the difference is that our culture condemns sexual abuse and to a lesser degree overt emotional abuse as well. But our culture actually promotes the hitting of children. So from a very young age children are utterly indoctrinated not only by their parents, but also the greater culture, to believe they deserved it. Children are trapped in a culture that supports assault against them. It is this quality of sustained containment in an abusive culture that creates a Stockholm phenomena where the child is forced out of necessity to identify with the prevailing and unchallenged abusive culture's perspective in order to survive and belong. This is why I consider any person who defends spanking (regardless of whether they spank their own children or not) complicit in perpetuating child abuse itself, because cultural denial of a child's right to be free from violence serves to imprison the child in self recrimination and shame. The culture's highest responsibility is to witness, acknowledge, and protect children's basic human rights. That is why hitting of children must be condemned and supported by law. 48 countries have already arrived at this conclusion. Hopefully soon, the USA will as well.

Jordon Riak sounds like he was very supportive to you and the cause.

I have a question that I can answer in my own unscientific way but would be interested to hear your perspective, Robbyn.

Why is it that so many who were physically smacked say that they must've deserved it and it didn't do me any harm, when so very clearly it did?

How is this different to emotional and sexual abuse, where one rarely hears this kind of thinking?  If in fact they are willing to share such information, is emotional and sexual in some way a 'deeper' shame, whereas physical is so obvious and undeniable? Curious (as usual!).

Thanks for adding the link to the "Peaceful Parenting" On-Line Conference.!!!