She is always so happy. He is always doing something cool. She is so much prettier than I am. He is so much more confident than I am. My life is so boring compared to theirs. I wish I had that kind of money to travel like they do. I wish I had a house as beautiful as theirs.
Does that sound familiar? Why can’t I be as good, rich, attractive, etc. as that person? I am worthless because they are always posting awesome pictures and I could never live up to that! But have you ever wondered how many of those people you are constantly comparing yourself to, think the same things? Maybe they compare themselves to you and in their eyes, they are the ones who do not measure up.
I think of this every day because insecurity is something I have a lot of difficulty with. I find that when I am focused on all these amazing people posting about their new BMW, 6-bedroom home, nose job, or vacation to Aruba, I am closing Facebook or Instagram with a sad outlook on my own life. There is always a nagging feeling that I am not as good of a person because my selfie only got 37 likes and hers got 123 likes and 5 comments. Why does my value change just because others clicked the like button on her photo and not mine? Why do I allow my self-esteem to take a hit because someone else had a great vacation and I am hanging out at home?
My life is just as fantastic as the other person’s, I just take it for granted and assume others are happier based on a picture that was retaken 10 times to get just the right lighting. Instead of wishing I had someone else’s life, I’ve learned to turn inward and see all the amazing things that I have in front of me. I do not need to make anyone jealous or show someone up. I am here to enjoy my own life and, when I start looking at it that way, I find that I am better able to scroll social media without that sad feeling.
We all deserve happiness and if that is going on vacation for one person and getting a nose job for another, then each one of us deserves to celebrate that. So be happy for your friends and then remember to be happy for yourself! Know that the grass isn’t always greener.
Trauma Education Specialist
Youth MOVE PA