Know Your Story, Tell Your Story: Build Relationships and Resilience and Begin Healing


Know your story, is a concept I learned through my own self development and reflection.  I kept finding myself in these precarious situations in my life and when I dug deep it all made sense.You can read my story by clicking on this link. I now realize that I also want to know the stories of others in my life, I  ask friends questions about their childhood and again, things add up.

I also hear from others that people don’t want to talk about their story because it is too painful.  Well, what I find “too painful” is knowing that a young man just shot people in his school because he wanted someone to “know his story.” 

The other reality is that many people who read my story thank me for sharing it because it helps them to realize that they are not alone.  The shame and secrecy that results from not knowing and talking about your story are unhealthy.  As Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. says: “In order to understand trauma, we have to overcome our natural reluctance to confront that reality and cultivate the courage to listen to the testimonies of survivors.” 

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When I hear that children are coming to school and teachers don’t know their story, I worry.  Children as young as 3-4 and even infants leave the safety of their own homes to be cared for by other adults.  Some children are leave home without being fed or having had witnessed violence in their home or neighborhood or heard about a tragedy on TV.  They need to talk about it.  We need to check in with students each day.  Yes, it takes time.  But the cost of not reaching out and truly connecting with them is greater. 

It sometimes feels that some people are on automatic pilot in our schools.  You walk in and you go through a routine.  Not always feeling as you go.  Even attempts to support kids with self-regulation and sensory processing are through media and disconnected from a true relationship.

As a Speech Language Pathologist, I spent many hours with many children and teachers teaching them the elements of a coherent story.  I was so grateful to learn this strategy because it allows me to give students a way to tell, not only what is happening for them and how they feel, and it begins to bring awareness to the actual problem and then work with them towards solutions, especially those that “feel better”.  In my mind that is “teaching and learning together”.

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Join me this summer in a workshop on-line or in person that will provide you with a frame work and personal experience telling your story.  This happens in a 1-1 coaching session or in small groups.  Yes, telling your story is personal.  However, we are all real people and we have real life experiences.  True connection happens when we are real and share our story and listen to the story of others.  We need it and students need it. 

Let’s co-create the change we need in the world.  Here is a link to my events page;  Summer Events

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