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Mastering Your Marriage

I have written about and spoke about Dr. John Gottman's research before. It is solid, and has served as, in part, a model for the assessment I envision for the Restoration to Health Model I have been working on for years. I am also inspired by Dr. Gottman's persistence. He has spend decades researching and distributing the knowledge he has found. I realize that changing people to not only want to be healthy, but change their approach, is difficult for all of us. Let me say it clearly. Many of us resist change in a manner bordering on the fanatic. Especially business leaders.

 

Here is what is said in "Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits", an article about Dr. Gottman's findings.

 

"The masters, by contrast, showed low physiological arousal. They felt calm and connected together, which translated into warm and affectionate behavior, even when they fought. It’s not that the masters had, by default, a better physiological make-up than the disasters; it’s that masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made both of them more emotionally and thus physically comfortable."

 

I disagree in one way. There is, I believe, a better physiological makeup. It is having a profile that does not include Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). I can explain very clearly how ACEs change the way you relate to people, including intimates. It's real, my friends. We need this knowledge and a protocol for change that allows us to alter our physiological make-up. I have been committed to that vision for the past nine years. To those of you who have encouraged me, thank you. It's a lonely path to tread alone, and many of you inspire me to continue.

 

[Article on Dr. Gottman's Research]

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