Obituary: Nathan Houston Smith (DignityMemorial.com)

 

The courage and honesty of Nathan's adoptive family is exactly what is needed to raise awareness of ACEs and the impact of childhood trauma.

Nathan “Nate” Houston Smith was born to his biological parents on January 22, 1999 in Wichita Falls, Texas. After spending a significant portion of his life in the foster care system, Nate was adopted at the age of thirteen by Jeremy and Amy Smith. Nate passed from this life on August 15, 2018 at the age of nineteen. Nate is survived by his parents, Jeremy and Amy Smith of Edmond, Oklahoma; two siblings, Brooklyn Lucas and Brody Smith of Edmond, Oklahoma; a son, Carter along with numerous adoptive and biological family members.

Nate lived the majority of his life in Oklahoma, with several of those years being in the Edmond area. Nate attended Oklahoma Christian Academy until his sophomore year of high school. During his time at OCA he participated in football, basketball, baseball and his church youth group.

While in school Nate was an above average student with a ton of friends. He loved football, snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding. He was a snake wrangler and horse whisperer. He sang loudly in the car, went through a box of cereal every 48 hours and drank orange juice from the carton. He lost everything he owned at least once and had the attention span of whatever is smaller than a gnat. He always up for trying something new and was ridiculously good at most things he tried. He was fluent in sarcasm, too charming for his own good and made a new friend everywhere he went.

Today Nate should be a week into his dream of playing college ball. He should be taking his sweet time returning his mom’s text about coming home for the weekend and hinting to his dad he needs gas money. He should be arranging skateboard dates with his brother and telling his sister about a cute girl in his biology class. He should be running out of credit in the cafeteria, double dating with his roommate and calling home to ask about holiday plans. Nate was a witty, talented, bright, charismatic young man with big dreams and he should be here today. He should be okay.

But he isn’t.

Because as hard as he tried, as hard as so many tried, Nate could not overcome the impact of childhood trauma and mental illness. As he got older his symptoms intensified and eventually overwhelmed not only him but those around him.

To read the rest of this obituary, go to: https://www.dignitymemorial.co...nathan-smith-7964860

Rest In Peace

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The right brain of a small child encodes "reality" as whatever is being experienced by that child consistently.  If you are treated hatefully by others, you will develop self hatred.  It's not a decision, it's just the way the brain works when a child is tiny and neglect or hate is a fact of their life.  If your feelings are never validated or never matter, you begin to hate having feelings and cut off from them.  Self hate, blockaded feelings, and despair then continue as "facts" even when circumstances change.  They continue as facs even when new people come along to love you and see your beauty and worth.

This is why healing MUST engage the right brain.  It's where the old pain is still in control.

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