Post Traumatic Journaling

Stumbled upon an old journal entry of mine....it was written after my 3rd sexual assault, age 27

Sometimes I feel that being a Woman must be similar to being a piece of the earth. Not so much in a spiritual or moral sense, but metaphorically so. It is understandable that so many ancient cultures should refer to an "entity" or force of nature described as "Mother Earth".  We, Woman, begin our existence fresh and pliable, fertile and necessary; with time, exposure to elements compacts and weatherizes us. If the elements have proven harsh, we change slowly into introverted, hopeless, depressed and less desirable; our purpose long forgotten. Our nutrients begin to deplete and our existence becomes expandable. 

2005

 

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Heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I am always amazed when I return to old journals to read "where I was" in comparison to "where I am". I am sorry you had to endure sexual assault. I, too, have been there. Hoping you have found ways to nurture your nutrients and bring back the furtile ground of healing to the weathered landscape. 

Peace,

Teri

www.teriwellbrock.com

Christine Cissy White (AC Staff) posted:

Hi Rebekah:

Thank you for sharing. This line, in particular struck me and resonates.

" We, Woman, begin our existence fresh and pliable, fertile and necessary; with time, exposure to elements compacts and weatherizes us."

I'm not sure about you, but I know for me writing was a way for me to start telling the truth (at least to myself) before I can be more direct or risk sharing about my experiences with others. A way to reveal and not go into details at the same time. Please keep sharing.

And, to keep with the metaphor, how does one tend to the earth and help restore and replenish and recover it while also honoring all that has happened and how it's changed shape and terrain?

Cis

By investing time to supplement the missing nutrients, planting new seeds, consistent love and care until the seeds come to fruition ;-) Great question!

We are often told Mother Earth will protect us or we will surely die.

I wonder how we often neglect women when they are broken, especially when they provide for our existence. Many single mother families are told that a male role model is needed to strengthen the family unit. If it is a choice for a single woman to raise her child alone she is stigmatized.

Women are told that a child without both parents will suffer in the long run.

The reality in this age is though a single mother has challenges she will persevere to provide for her children. The female as a nurturer is still predominantly an active role which women are natural.

In nature if the lion is killed, the lioness will connect to her pride (community) to gain support to raise her fatherless cubs. It's a women's natural instinct to survive by accessing resources in her community.

The strength of other women who have survived and thrived helps those women who are still in the trenches. It can be as simple as washing dishes that have piled up for a depressed mother who is threatened by homelessness. Her only wish may be to have some normalcy: a cup of coffee in a clean kitchen before she figures out what to do for her son.

Mother Earth's rule is one of balance. Where there is weakness, her strengths will compensate to ensure balance. A women strives to heal from her past and present to see a better future.

 

 

 

I was unable to finish reading the 'typewritten' page. I paused after the third paragraph to view something on another website, and...I don't find the attachment link for that, on this [acesconnection] page now...

Hi Rebekah:

Thank you for sharing. This line, in particular struck me and resonates.

" We, Woman, begin our existence fresh and pliable, fertile and necessary; with time, exposure to elements compacts and weatherizes us."

I'm not sure about you, but I know for me writing was a way for me to start telling the truth (at least to myself) before I can be more direct or risk sharing about my experiences with others. A way to reveal and not go into details at the same time. Please keep sharing.

And, to keep with the metaphor, how does one tend to the earth and help restore and replenish and recover it while also honoring all that has happened and how it's changed shape and terrain?

Cis


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