One of the biggest reasons why people who grew up with trauma struggle to maintain good relationships, is because of our own behaviors that push people away.
I teach a lot about triggers -- the way people and experiences can dysregulate us and throw us off -- neurologically, physically, emotionally.
Triggers are key, but what’s also important are the ways we act when we’re feeling triggered -- or when we’re triggered and don’t even realize it -- and we end up hurting or alienating other people.
It’s so sad. This is why so many of us have suffered so much loss, and often go through our lives longing for connection and not finding it -- or alone, and scared to even try anymore.
The wounds that trigger CPTSD-releated behavior happened long ago; the wounds are not your fault, but the behaviors are something you can heal. If you want to change any negative pattern, everything depends on your ability to see and change -- to find the little spots where you have some power to change how your life turns out. This can happen when you lovingly, courageously, shift your focus from what happened to you, to how you’re handling your life right now. Now is when you have a choice in the question of what happens next.
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