When we discuss ACEs we need to understand the underlying reasons for a child's trauma. Most often it is lack of good enough parenting, primarily absence of secure attachment. When a child's first 3 years are right, it brings huge benefits not just for the child but for the whole of society.
According to psychoanalyst Winnicott, "the foundations of health are laid down by the ordinary mother in her ordinary loving care of her own baby.”
Pioneering Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott on the Mother’s Contribution to Society
Our failure to recognize that indebted dependence, Winnicott argues, is responsible for some of the most fundamental fractures of society — from the obvious manifestations, ranging from interpersonal malignancies like misogyny to societal maladies like sexism, to the subtler and more systemic symptoms affecting everything from social norms to political regimes.
“Every man or woman who is sane, every man or woman who has the feeling of being a person in the world, and for whom the world means something, every happy person, is in infinite debt to a woman.”
Caring for a child is a full-time job, particularly in the first 3 years. And it is something that cannot be rushed.
To reduce ACEs on future generations we need to give due importance to child-care and mothering.
As a society, we need to accord motherhood the significance it rightly deserves. Modern women have to understand that though it is financially viable pursuing a full-time career alongside motherhood. However, in the long-term, it is sure to cause stress and anxiety to both mother and child.
Psychologist Erica Komisar writes in her book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, “The truth is, we can do everything in life, but not at the same time.”
Hence, when we plan to have kids, we need to make motherhood a career choice.