There's a blog post by Ruth Buczynski, PhD on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website that links to a great infographic explaining the difference between guilt and shame.
It's worth checking out.
What I found most helpful though is something I've never really heard of or understood - irrational guilt.
Irrational guilt is defined as "a feeling of psychological discomfort about something we've done against our irrationally high standards."
Who knew?
I didn't know that was a thing but I'm pretty sure I feel it a good amount. I have been accused, more than once, of having impossible expectations of myself and others. I tend to dismiss these comments because I've thought of having high expectations as generally positive.
I can see here where and how that may not always be the case. Maybe I should have listened better?
It's helpful to see healthy guilt to the left and painful shame to the right to fully appreciate these concepts and the differences between them.
Visuals can be great for conveying complex content rather quickly. Now I want to learn more about both shame and guilt and how it applies in my life as parent, parent and also professional.
I want to make sure my expectations of others (and myself) are rational.
I like when I can see and follow how or why change might be useful or helpful or how a new way of thinking or being might work.
I like when my beliefs are challenged and I can I learn something new at the same time.
I've attached a pdf of the infographic about shame vs. guilt. Per the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website it can be shared with others as long as copyright information is shared as well.
Finally, if you find any resources you like that might be helpful to the Parenting with ACEs community, please share them here with the rest us. Please let me know if you need any help with posting, adding attachments, images, etc.
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