October 2016

I watched this video three times this morning. It's stunning and beautiful and emotional. It honors pain. "I just felt like I"m invisible. Maybe I should give up." Unique It offers hope. "It's hard to speak of Miss Daniels. She saved my life. Unique. It touches those of us who watch but it does more than that. It teaches. "If you can get to that pain. Because a lot of these children. My goodness. They just have something to say. They are crying out. They are acting out as their way of saying...

I became a professional reader long before I was a writer when I was living in homeless shelters, subsidized housing, and welfare hotels with my mother in New York City. Most of the middle class and affluent black folks I would come to know in the future would wince and give me a look I couldn’t read when I would tell the story that I outline in my new memoir, The Beautiful Darkness: A Handbook for Orphans . All some intolerant, ignorant bigots need is to continue to hear about the...

This is a brief, informative and accessible hand-out. It doesn't talk about ACEs but it does talk about traumatic stress and helps educate adoptive and foster parents, in particular. However, I think it's useful as a general guide. Excerpt: In my dream world, there would be a resources such as this for those of us Parenting After ACEs and with traumatic stress symptoms. If you know of any, please share them. Many of us are needing to provide trauma-informed self-care and understanding while...

Hi everyone! So glad to have found you all. (I'm still learning my way around so apologies if I've posted this in a few places.) I'm Alison Morris, single adoptive mother to a child with early developmental trauma whose ACEs score is sadly quite high. Even more sad is that I think my own parenting may have added a check or two since I had no idea what was going on for quite a while, and even when I did I found it SO hard to parent in a trauma-informed (connection- and relationship-based)...

With teens today facing unprecedented levels of toxic stress, self-compassion is one way to nurture inner wisdom, promote self-kindness, and self-heal. Christopher Germer, author of the Mindful Path to Self-Compassion says my forthcoming book, Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness is "just the ticket for parents, teachers, and counselors who know the burdens of modern teens and want to help." Tara Brach, author of True Refuge and Radical Acceptance...

I came across this resource today. Sadly, it doesn't talk about the large number of parents who have PTSD from ACEs, developmental and complex trauma instead of or as well as combat-related PTSD. But, it's nice to see the topic of parental PTSD and the way it can impact children being discussed. Here's an excerpt: Introduction Researchers have examined the impact of Veterans' PTSD symptoms on family relationships, and on children of Veterans in particular. Understanding how these symptoms...

Isn't that the most encouraging headline? Too few articles about ACEs offer any hope about what can help. For so long, researchers, writers and activists have been trying to make the point and "prove" that ACEs matter, ACEs matter and oh yeah, ACEs matter ! There have not been enough funding or focus on what can be done, individually and systemically, in general or as parents, in particular, to counter the impact of ACEs. “If you want to interrupt ACEs, you have to help the adults heal,” he...

This is small but interesting study and while it focuses on those with combat-related PTSD it has ideas which may be of interest to those of us here in the Parenting with ACEs group. Who hasn't felt that finger painting or crafting wasn't more than just creative or fun? Sometimes, it can feel and be healing in ways we can feel and know if not necessarily understand and articulate. Here's maybe some of why we should all keep coloring books on our kitchen tables with a basket of markers, paint...

Many of us have experienced sexual assault and/or abuse. The idea that our children could experience the same is terrifying to the point of being paralyzing. Even if our daughters have an ACE score of 0 they will not escape sexism. The upside of so much media coverage about sexual assault, harassment and sexism is that it gives us the opportunity to talk to our kids with a tiny bit of distance. What I mean, is that we can have conversations that are more topical and general, because we are...

Parents and teachers are worried. They believe that today's kids are growing up in an unkind world and that learning to be kind is even more important than getting good grades. But, when it comes to defining "kind," parents and teachers don't always agree. That's according to a new survey of some 2,000 parents and 500 teachers from the educational nonprofit behind Sesame Street , Sesame Workshop. Kindness is well-trod territory for Sesame. Here's actor Mark Ruffalo trying to teach a Muppet...

I have a friend going through a rough patch. She was physically sick with a back to back virus which is no fun for anyone but brutal for a single mother with young children. She got herself and the kids bundled up and out for a full fall day on Saturday and Sunday left her utterly depleted and unable to do much of anything. So she was now not only sick and exhausted but deflated and feeling guilty for not being a better mom, for her kids having a boring day, for not being more fun or active.

As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities. Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our...