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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Trauma-Informed Parents & Parenting

Reimagining Resilience 1: Using a Trauma Lens

Sound Discipline is offering two upcoming options for Reimagining Resilience 1: Using a Trauma Lens . This online workshop helps adults build positive relationships with children who have experienced trauma. We will explore the impact of adverse experiences and the effect they have on developing brains and student behavior. The course gives teachers, parents, and other adults working closely with kids the skills they need to make sure that every child knows that they matter. An online course...

How Having a Child With Autism Helps Me Ride Out the Pandemic (nytimes.com)

My life has been filled with uncertainty for a long time, but my son has helped me stay flexible, adjust expectations and persevere. It feels like forever since we took up residence in the United States of Anxiety. As the months drag on, that mix of fear and fortitude I felt at the beginning of the pandemic is giving way to fatigue and frustration. The crisis isn’t abating anytime soon. Yet surprisingly, the uncertainty and angst feel familiar. I know this road. As a parent of a child with...

Humility Reflection for Teens (ggia.berkeley.edu)

Time Required This practice can be done at regular intervals when parents want to help their teens cultivate humility. It can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as 45 minutes. How to Do It Humility is about being able to see and accept your strengths and limitations without defensiveness or judgment, as well as being open-minded to other’s perspectives and to new information. This practice can help teens bolster their humility in that second sense—by orienting them toward others and...

'Mommy is sad'—5 ways to explain your mental illness to your children (upworthy.com)

Parenting is a tough and often thankless job, but it's particularly difficult for the millions of Americans living with mental illness. After all, when you're a parent you rarely get down time or "self-care" time. Life moves forward, no matter how you feel or your mood, and that means that—if you live with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder—your children will see you in good times and bad. And while our instincts tell us we should shield our loved ones...

Small Ways to Practice Self-Compassion Right Now (thriveglobal.com)

Adjusting to our new normal means keeping up with constantly shifting expectations. We are being asked to go above and beyond in a lot of ways right now, so instead of judging ourselves by impossible standards when it comes to parenting , work productivity , or anything else, focusing on self-compassion is critical for our health and well-being. We asked our Thrive community to share the small ways they’re being more compassionate with themselves right now. Which of these will you try? Savor...

Mindful Parent, Resilient Child: Strategies for Difficult Times, a FREE live video call with Dr. Christopher Willard.

Join us for Mindful Parent, Resilient Child: Strategies for Difficult Times , a FREE live video call with Dr. Christopher Willard. During the forty-five minute talk, Dr. Willard will offer approaches to gain presence and momentum through challenging times. This will be a rich resource for families, offering strategies for mindfulness-rooted parenting in times of extreme stress as well as peace. You’ll have the opportunity to submit questions during the talk, and Dr. Willard will answer as...

6 Psychologist-Approved Ways To Cope With Unexpected Losses Right Now (mindbodygreen.org)

The science of psychological flexibility , which is explained in more detail in my book A Liberated Mind , can help. Over the last few decades, thousands of scientific studies have focused on a small set of mental skills that have a big effect on whether people can rise to life challenges. And most importantly they can be learned. 1. Choose to feel. Loss is a rich soup of emotions, sensations, urges, and memories. Make room for them all . Research shows that people who respond to loss with...

Trauma-Informed Resources Available During COVID-19 Quarantine (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)

Cissy's Note: We're not alone and organizations like the Attachment Trauma Network are summarizing resources and offerings and remembering the entire school community - including parents. Below, there's an excerpt from a recent blog post with resources. Also, per Julie Beem, the Executive Director of the Trauma Attachment Network, (she's smart, kind, and wonderful), more resources will be coming this week and next. And they will be shared here as soon as they are available. While these...

How Neuroscience Can Help Your Kid Make Good Choices (mindful.org)

Imagine the following scenario: Your eight-year-old son is repeatedly poked with a pencil by his classmate at school. How does he respond? He might endure the pokes without complaint by using willpower, or he might stay silent, succumbing to feelings of fear or powerlessness. He could lose his self-control and act out, attacking his classmate verbally or poking him back. Or does your son “self-regulate” by considering his options and resources, taking stock of his feelings and strengths,...

Why Parents Need a Little Self-Compassion (greatergood.berkeley.edu)

Some parents misunderstand self-compassion and dismiss it as being self-centered, indulgent, or lazy. They fear it might lead to self-pity or that, if they aren’t tough enough, their kids will slack off and won’t be motivated or disciplined. But a growing body of research by Kristin Neff and her colleagues suggests that self-compassion is an antidote to self-pity. It helps us cope with tough situations like divorce and trauma, keeps us motivated, and helps us be more supportive and caring in...

Birth Trauma, an anniversary

For mothers who experienced traumatic births, these birthdays are the cruelest of celebrations. We are supposed to smile and shower love on our children, and never admit that on these days we would really love to curl up in a ball and sob. We are not supposed to say that having our children took too high a toll on our physical and mental health. We are not supposed to mention just how badly our medical and social systems failed to support us when we needed it the most.

PARENTS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ACES: SOME TIPS FOR SUPPORTING YOUR TODDLER [Stresshealth.org]

When your toddler misses a developmental milestone, like taking her first steps by age two, it’s natural to fret. After all, in very rare cases, such delays may be a sign of an underlying condition. But a recent study suggests that some delays may have a more surprising explanation. Children are more likely to miss developmental milestones by age two if their parents suffered traumatic events during their own childhood, according to researchers from the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical...

The Decision that Changed My Life

Four years ago, I decided to start a conversation about the long term impact of childhood abuse. More specifically, about what happens when those abused children grow up and have children of their own. When I had become a parent, I went looking for books on this topic, and I didn’t find anything. But I knew I couldn’t be the only one who was dealing with this. And once I found one other person who was willing to write about this, I said, let’s collect these stories. The stories of these...

Can Inuit Moms Help Me Tame My 3-Year-Old's Anger? (npr.org)

For thousands of years, the Inuit have raised children in one of the harshest places on Earth. During that time, they've developed a suite of powerful parenting tools to teach children emotional intelligence, especially when it comes to anger. At the center of these tools is a major tenet: Never shout at small children. "Yelling? There was no yelling at kids [in traditional Inuit culture]," says Martha Tikivik, 83, who was born in an igloo and has six children. In fact, there's no reason for...

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