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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Tagged With "Hope for Healing"

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What's Right with US!

Former Member ·
Thoughts on the shift from, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Connection: I have to admit, it has taken me some time to understand the value of shifting from, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” As a person with high ACEs, I realize I have been absolutely conditioned by our culture to resist the victim label (I resist thinking about what happened to me) and to ‘own’ my response to whatever has happened to me (I must pursue...
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When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs

Lisa Frederiksen ·
I was such a mother. I was also the daughter of an alcoholic. My mom died earlier this year. When a mother loves an alcoholic or is raised by an alcoholic, she is changed in profound ways - ways she has no idea are even present, yet ways that make her a confounding figure in her children's lives. At the root of these "ways" is her adverse childhood experiences. As I shared recently in my post, The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking ACEs , "[My] Mom and I talked about my realization that...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement

Tian Dayton ·
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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Should foster kids know when the state uses their benefits? (www.alaskapublic.org)

Christine Cissy White ·
Note: I did not know that this happens. It's hard to imagine that these funds would benefit families, directly. What if the funds were used to help address generational trauma instead and help whole families to heal? Some foster kids are eligible to receive Social Security benefits, but the kids and their families don’t always know the money is available. Instead, the state applies for the benefits and puts the funds toward paying for foster care services. Now a lawsuit is asking if the...
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Simple Solutions to Real Barriers

Rebekah Couch ·
My name is Rebekah Couch and I am a former teen mother of five children, the youngest child being my only clean and sober pregnancy allowed to remain in my care. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and was afflicted with untreated mental health issues as an adolescent. My destructive journey began with self-medicating and illegal activities in junior high and a daily cocaine addiction by the age of 15 that eventually advanced to methamphetamine abuse. My addiction and criminal...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]

Karen Clemmer ·
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools

Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz ·
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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The Amazing Brain Series (www.instituteforsafefamilies.org)

Christine Cissy White ·
Here's a link to several great downloads I'm adding to the Parenting with ACEs resource section. I've attached one of the five so you can get an idea of content and visuals. The downloads are all free and if you want colorful handouts those are available for purchase.
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The Angel and the Assassin by Donna Jackson Nakazawa (www.kirkusreviews.com)

Christine Cissy White ·
Cissy's note: It's wonderful to see the press Donna Jackson Nakazawa's new book is getting. She's been a guest on the Parenting with ACEs chat series, and crucial in helping ACEsConnection to develop handouts for parents about what helps heal ACEs. Here is an excerpt from a review of her book, The Angel and the Assassin, which was recently published in the Kirkus Reviews. To read the full review, please go here .
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The Boy Born Out of Resilience

Dr. Cathy Anthofer-Fialon ·
A few months ago I published a blog, " A Mother's Rage". I re-accounted my rage and helplessness regarding my daughter's high school rape in Miami, FL. I ended my post with words of hope. I wrote how several years had passed since my daughter's assault. She was now engaged and pregnant with my first grandchild.  This is the rest of the story. I held my daughter's hand as she labored through the night with my grandson. I tried to comfort her fiancee who felt helpless. I rubbed her back,...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #1: Relationships

Dina Burstein ·
HOPE is a natural fit for ACES Connection. To further embrace the members of ACES Connection we have created a Balancing ACES with HOPE community and encourage all to visit and join. Please read our blogs and post your comments. Let us know how you think HOPE could impact your work and personal life. Being in nurturing, supportive relationships are critical for children to develop into healthy, resilient adults. This concept forms the first of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What types of...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #2: Environment

Dina Burstein ·
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is a natural fit for ACES Connection. Children who grow up in safe, stable and equitable environments are less likely to experience poor mental and physical health as adults. It is crucial to ask caregivers about the types of environments their children are experiencing. Celebrate the positive and work with families to help ensure their child has the opportunity to live, learn and play in safe and...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share

James Rodriguez ·
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Reminder: Live Chat with Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Christine Cissy White ·
"It's really not survival of the fittest - it's survival of the nurtured." Donna Jackson Nakazawa Date: Tuesday, November 14th, 2017 Time: 10 AM PST / 1 PM EST Where: Here / Chats ( featured chat ) Hosted by: @Jane Stevens Topics to be Covered: Parenting with ACEs. What parents need to know. Affordable self-care for stressed and busy parents. Healing from ACEs & family wellness. How to Attend Online Chats: M embers of ACEs Connection : Go to Chats (top of page). Find...
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[Repost] Trauma-informed Care: It Takes More Than a Clipboard and a Questionnaire

Jim Hickman ·
California is about to launch an ambitious campaign to train tens of thousands of Medi-Cal providers to screen children and adults up to age 65 for trauma, starting on January 1, 2020. It is well-established that the early identification of trauma and providing the appropriate treatment are critical tools for reducing long-term health care costs for both children and adults. Research has shown that individuals who experienced a high number of traumatic childhood events are likely to die...
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Resilience: A New Grief Myth That Can Hurt You (www.medium.com)

Christine Cissy White ·
Excerpts from an essay written by Candyce Ossefort-Russell : Full essay.
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RESILIENCY: Innate or Nurtured

LesliePeters RN ·
For me, resiliency is in part innate. I don't think we can teach resilience. Through love and connection we can most certainly nurture it. A key piece of resiliency is connection with others. I look back at all that I have endured in my life and wonder what made me keep getting back up. Why did I become more tenacious each time life and family knocked me down? For me, what kept me going was being out in the world connecting with people throughout the day. It made me feel part of something...
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Rise TIPS: For Parents in Crisis (www.risemagazine.org) & Commentary

Christine Cissy White ·
Note: This handout was developed with, for and by parents in the child welfare system. However, it's got great content for all parents. For example, the article "Fight or Flight: Coping When Visits Stir Up Reminders of Trauma" is excellent. Lots of us parenting with ACEs have had the shameful experience of being triggered by our children. It can feel horrible. However, it's something we rarely admit, talk about or find addressed anywhere. Part of the problem is that much of the stuff written...
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RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing

Kanwarpal Dhaliwal ·
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
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SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Years in the making, this important piece of the trauma-informed pie is on the table! Check it out. 
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Screening Parents for ACEs! Adverse Childhood Experiences Impact Illness, Unemployment and Disability [TheLundReport.org]

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Trapped in a culture of blame, shame and punishment, too many people are thrown in jail, suspended from school and re-traumatized in caregiving situations when what they need is understanding what’s happened to them, nurturing safety and a...
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Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey

Svava Brooks ·
Focusing on your health is important as you heal after trauma. I had learned a lot about trauma. I understood the impact but having been fortunate with a healthy body, the long term impact had not showed up in my biology except for very painful migraine headaches and depression. But the toxic level of stress I had lived with my whole life had not registered yet. Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. It just hurt too much to think about it. I was in too much pain and...
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Self-Compassion for Teens

Dr. Lee-Anne Gray ·
With teens today facing unprecedented levels of toxic stress, self-compassion is one way to nurture inner wisdom, promote self-kindness, and self-heal. Christopher Germer, author of the Mindful Path to Self-Compassion says my forthcoming book, Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness is "just the ticket for parents, teachers, and counselors who know the burdens of modern teens and want to help." Tara Brach, author of True Refuge and Radical Acceptance...
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Limbic Revision – Love Heals Your Traumatized Brain

Former Member ·
Limbic revision is simply another name for revising and rewiring the faulty development of our brain, namely our limbic system. In simple terms in order to truly heal we need to experience deep and attuned loving care.
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Love in the time of Coronavirus: HOPE-informed thoughts for parents

Bob Sege ·
This has been quite a week, and we are now facing major disruptions in our own family lives. There is no doubt that the events of this winter and spring will be memorable for children. In that spirit, here are a few ideas to help make those memories (at least somewhat) happy.
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Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships (www.brickelandassociates.com)

Christine Cissy White ·
Note: I saw this article by Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT on my Facebook newsfeed today. Times have changed! How great to find resources more readily available. Many of us are not only trauma survivor parents but we are related to, in love with or partnering with adults who are as well. This is a helpful resource to help us better understand our/their sometimes fearful and withdrawing reactions. I'm also sharing that I got an email from someone at 2 a.m. last night who said that research...
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How Magic Hugs & Author Donna Jackson Nakazawa Make ACEs Science Useful to Parents

Christine Cissy White ·
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a well-known writer and author. Her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology is a go-to guide for lots of us and makes her a frequent guest on podcasts. Last week I heard Allison Morris interview her during her Healing Our Children World Summit . Morris, a self-described "trauma mama" and "single adoptive mother of a child with early developmental trauma, attachment issues, and some physical disabilities" who gathers information and...
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Meet The Startup Healing Trauma One Text At A Time [Forbes.com]

Clare Reidy ·
Photo: Ashley Edwards and Alina Liao at UC Berkeley School of Business after winning 2nd place at the 2016 Global Social Innovation Competition. In 2016, the 30 largest cities in the United States experienced a double-digit increase in violent crime. From reports of shootings in Chicago to gang-related violence in LA , the media is constantly flooded with stories of violence in our urban communities. The effect this has is numbing: most of the time, one doesn’t stop to think of the lives...
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future

Jed Diamond, PhD ·
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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My son was hospitalized and now he has PTSD

Stephanie Kennelly ·
“Grant, do you remember when you were in the hospital?” “Yes… they came to take the blood and I turned into a werewolf.” Original Post It happened quickly. A year ago my three year old had a collarbone fracture, it became infected and within 24 hours the situation was emergent. A week long hospital stay, one month with a PICC line and two months on oral antibiotics. Finally, the labs finally came back normal. The X-Ray was clean. Gillette Children’s Hospital closed our case. But the healing...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #3: Engagement

Dina Burstein ·
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is resonating with the ACES Connection community. Here we present the third mini-blog in our series on the Building Blocks of HOPE. Children need ample opportunities for productive social engagement. Developing a connection to and sense of belonging in a community, as well as a sense that you matter to your community, describes the essence of the third of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What are some...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #4: Social-Emotional Development

Dina Burstein ·
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is resonating with the ACES Connection community and are thrilled to see our community continue to grow. Here we present the fourth mini-blog in our series on the Building Blocks of HOPE. Children need ample opportunities for productive social and emotional development. Developing social and emotional competencies describes the fourth of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What do we mean by social and...
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The Crappy Childhood Fairy on Amee Quiriconi's ONE BROKEN MOM Podcast

Anna Runkle ·
The other day I was the guest on Amee Quiriconi’s podcast ONE BROKEN MOM, which is focused on parenting, kids and the effects of trauma on how we manage it all. It was so fun talking with a fellow traveler, helping to get the word out about how we heal from Childhood PTSD. You can check out One Broken Mom here. You can take my online course, “ Healing Childhood PTSD” here .
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The Hardest Part of Parenting While Post-Traumatically Stressed...

Christine Cissy White ·
I asked parents on my Heal Write Now Facebook page for some feedback before my last talk on Parenting with PTSD. Here are some of the responses parent shared. “When I first became a parent I didn't understand that not all parents reacted or were triggered the way I was. For example, all parents go through lack of sleep but for me it brought up physical and emotional memories of the years of night terrors I suffered. It took me awhile to figure that out on my own.” Karen P. “The hardest part...
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The Healing Place Podcast - Joyelle Brandt: Parenting with PTSD

Teri Wellbrock ·
I am grateful to have had the chance to sit down with Joyelle Brandt to discuss her mission of helping those who are parenting with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Thank you, Joyelle, for sharing your personal story and the beautiful work you are doing helping others along their parenting and healing journey. What a gift for those families and the children who will benefit from the steps their parents are taking to heal.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Kelly McDaniel: Mother Hunger & Early Attachment Injuries

Teri Wellbrock ·
In her practice, Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CSAT, author and psychotherapist, offers Individual Intensives for women living with the generational legacy of Mother Hunger. Kelly works carefully and confidentially with clients as they navigate the tender, primitive wound that comes from an early broken heart.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.

Michael Skinner ·
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.

Michael Skinner ·
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Importance of Positive Emotional Communication Starting From Infancy

Hilary Jacobs Hendel ·
“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” It has something to do with emotions and emotional communication.
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The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking-Related ACEs

Lisa Frederiksen ·
I am the child of an alcoholic. My mom didn’t stop drinking until age 79. She died at 84. There was no warning, no lingering illness. She died two days after an unsuccessful emergency surgery. But we had five years during which she did not drink, after forty-five years during which she did. You see, my mom knew she had a drinking problem. So did we, the rest of her family. There were times when she fought mightily to stop or control it. There were times when the rest of us fought mightily to...
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The power and passion of a survivor - Cissy White (www.thetraumatherapistproject.com)

Christine Cissy White ·
Excerpt from the Trauma Therapist Podcast hosted by Guy McPherson, PhD. In This Episode Cissy’s website Cissy published in the Elephant Journal ACEs Connection ACEs Too High Articles There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal , Belleruth Naparstek Cissy's note: Even before I got cancer, being on the Trauma Therapist Podcast with Guy McPherson was a bucket-list item for me. It's the podcast where I first heard...
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The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Telling Us

Kate White ·
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology (PPN) oriented therapies have developed ways to identify and help babies, children, and families heal difficult early experiences and transform them into more life-enhancing experiences of being in the world. PPN-oriented therapeutic play is an effective way to do this and can be done in the office with a PPN professional and also at home with parents perceiving and engaging their children with this purpose in mind.
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The Quality of Intimate Relationships in Indian Country

Patrick Anderson ·
As a research topic, Intimate Relationships are not well understood in Indian Country. This article, [ LINK HERE ] soon to be published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, is a first small step in addressing this gap. Decades ago, I spoke about the difficulties of parenting when you had no examples to emulate. As a boy, I changed diapers, fed babies, soothed fussiness and performed scores of other child care tasks. During one of our early morning talks, my Mother told me that she was...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Parenting with High ACEs – Voices of Lived Expertise

Robin M Cogan ·
Christine “Cissy” White is leading a movement to make sure that parents with high Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) scores have the resources and support they need to end the trend of generational trauma that so many have i nherited and unknowingly passed on to their children. The voice of the parent is first and foremost in Cissy’s plan of action. To reach this goal, Cissy had to first find her own voice, which she has done brilliantly through writing, speaking and leading workshops.
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020

Michael Skinner ·
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020

Michael Skinner ·
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter February 2020

Michael Skinner ·
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-02-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_February_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] This coat design isn't just saving lives. It's launching new careers for homeless people – CNN...
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