Kids in pain cannot learn!!!
Often your most difficult students are young people living in environments with Toxic Levels of Stress.
These environments change the brain!
The next time you are involved with a student that is escalating and beginning to loss control try some of the following ideas .
1. BE A THERMOSTAT- NOT A THERMOMETER
Develop with-in your head a pause button.
Slow down.
Everything in your body will be telling you to speed up... remember emotions are very contagious. Consciously begin to focus on your breathing!
Anchor your self in your breathing and slow it down. ( As a person that once played a lot of basketball this breathing is like the breathing done prior to taking an important foul shot. Yoga practices with the breath are another great example of the breathing you will need to do. )
- Notice your self talk- and challenge it!
Monitor your self-talk and notice any judgments or thoughts about the young person that are almost automatic.
Watch from some distance your thoughts:
"he is being manipulative again"
"_____is always trying to take over my class"
"_____ not again he always want attention"
"I have had it with_____ he is such a pain in my____.
Just label these, notice them, and let them go!
- Be curious---not judgmental
Ask yourself what may be underneath this young persons behavior?
What might this person need right now?
Always go deeper.
"And what might be underneath that? Where might that come from?"
Keep asking. At the bottom many young people are looking for:
A sense of being treated with kindness, dignity and respect!
Caring when they are not at their best is a great way to make a connection with a student who has learned to be "wary of adults".
Remember The 4 Universal Growth Needs of All Kids
- Belonging- Am I important to somebody here?
- Mastery- Am I good at something here?
- Independence- Can I influence my world here?
- Generosity- How can I share my gifts to help others here?
- Calm your tone of voice and say something helpful.
Whisper that you know somethings are hard and ask......
How can i help you?
Provide a few choices so that the student has a way out and can save face.
Make it clear that you want to help?
Remember- We need to get the student in a brain state that will allow us to problem solve. Both the adult and the young person need to be in the executive part of the brain for a successful outcome!
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