What is psychological abuse?
Psychological violence is a form of influence of one person on another, in which the harm done is measured not in "physical units", but in psychological ones. The most common forms of psychological abuse include humiliation, insults, threats, intimidation, and they are not necessarily verbal. Violence is not always aggressive, even with a smile on your face you can humiliate a person.
What can the psychological abuse of a child lead to?
The consequences of psychological abuse depend on its duration and intensity. Psychological abuse leads to the child's experience of his own insignificance. This is a feeling of guilt, and shame, and powerlessness, and, as a result, low self-esteem, self-doubt. In addition, the level of anxiety increases, fears and nervousness may appear. This is due to the fact that the child loses his sense of security and begins to constantly expect a new "attack". He becomes vulnerable to all kinds of manipulation. Long-term psychological abuse affects the entire future life of a child: his attitude towards himself and others, his ability to be in tune with his emotions, his level of aggression, and his adaptation to society.
How can a parent resist psychological abuse?
Most importantly, a parent should always stand up to protect their child. Otherwise, the child becomes a hostage of the situation and may be guilty from two sides: he is scolded by both educators and parents who are tired of listening to the teachers' reproaches.
If the parent suspects that something is wrong with the child, first of all, you need to try to talk to him, find out what the problem is. There is no need to give advice on how to deal with the situation. Most likely, they will be impossible to fulfill, and this will make the feeling of guilt and shame even stronger. The child will begin to think that he is to blame. Not paying attention is another common parenting mistake. It devalues the child's experiences, deprives him of the necessary support.
A necessary step for the parent is a dialogue with the teacher. You need to go to the teacher prepared: to know exactly when and because of what the mood changed, up to specific dates. There is no need to conflict with the teacher, because later this may affect the child. All problems are best solved through mutual cooperation. You need to calmly show your clear position on the current situation: “I see it. I notice it. I don't want this to happen again. Let's see what we can do together. ” If the conversation does not solve the problem, you can contact your superiors. In any case, the violence must stop. If none of the methods work, the child must be taken from this childcare facility.
Bullying by other children. What to do?
Here, again, parental support is very important. A parent should trust his child and not be afraid to enter conflict situations, protecting him. All problems need to be solved at the adult level. There is no bullying without the tacit support of a caregiver or teacher who is in the institution where it happens. It is necessary to enter into a dialogue and appeal to the competence of the educator or teacher: "This situation does not suit me, if you are not able to cope with the situation, I will go higher." Adults can make a difference with children if they act together and professionally.
How to distinguish abuse from parental care?
Caring is when one person cares about what is happening to another and wants the other to feel good. And caring as such simply cannot be violence. But what is often disguised as care is precisely psychological abuse. If you take care of a child, you will offer him help in solving certain problems, but before helping, wait for his initiative or desire. If you help, regardless of whether the child asks you about it or not, then the question arises of who you really care about at this moment.