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Reply to "How does the general public percieve Foster Children?"

I think in our society we have a blind spot to why people behave the way they do. We like to assume that we are all playing with the same set of rules, but that leaves us blind to those that do not act in ways we can predict. If we can't predict their behavior, there must be something wrong with them. I believe that actions have meaning. I work with survivors of domestic violence and so often I hear survivors say, "You're going to think I'm crazy, but let me tell you what happened..." and then they tell me exactly what happened and how they responded to it, and it makes perfect sense! Action has meaning. I've had an opportunity to mentor foster kids aging out of group homes, and I am amazed by the choices they make. Clearly, in group homes they have had to survive in a way I don't understand. But, again - they tell me what their thought processes are and it makes sense. I think when we talk about how the general public perceives things we have to acknowledge that they can't understand what they don't know. AND, they don't know it. When I see people blaming people caught in systems, like foster care, this looks a lot like victim blaming to me. It's hard to fix systems, especially when we don't know how they work. But, blaming individuals making choices we don't understand is easy. I think we also have a real lack of empathy for children. How can we blame kids for anything? They have no control over their lives!

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