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Wichita State University Community Engagement Institute - PACEs Connection (KS)

Kansas PACEs Connection is dedicated to connecting and supporting organizations, systems, and communities who are interested in better understanding the prevalence of ACEs and trauma, recognizing the impact that these have on individual and organizational health, and developing policies and practices that promote resiliency and healing.

Raising our voices

 

Speaking for myself, it’s hard not to get overwhelmed by all of the negative images and sounds that we see every day. It was a lot before the onset of the pandemic - and when you add that with the ongoing “attacks” that seem to have become a persistent part of the political process – it seems we have a perfect storm that is shining a light on all of the “traumas” that many of us think that we keep well hidden. Social media often adds fuel to this storm and makes me question (and don’t forget judge!) everyone around me. I often feel like everyone is talking but no one is listening.

But with all of its faults, occasionally there are people who accidently show up in your timeline/feed that remind you that folks are doing the best they can and have found ways to raise their voices to help others see their struggles, learn from them and find ways to heal. One such voice for me is Kier and Them. Kier is a therapist and relationship vlogger who with his wife, Noémie, and their “sassy” daughter, Emery, have been sharing the funny and poignant lessons they have learned as a young family through digital media for the past two years. This week, Kier posted a video that stood out for me. In it, he reflects on being a young, black father, and though it is directed at other young, black men – these perspectives can serve as lessons for all parents. He also encourages dads to get help to deal with their trauma if they want to be better fathers than the men that may have come before them. As he says, “[You can’t] just pour water over a lady and a baby and have a happy family overnight. This ain’t oatmeal man!”

I hope that each of you are taking time to take care of yourselves and are able to find voices that you can lift up and who lift you up. Make time to listen, reflect, and learn. Maybe if we all do this a little more…well, maybe we will all feel a little more heard.

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@Kierandthem - Being a father

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