Tagged With "Self-Care"
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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We Need to Help More Trauma Survivors Value Self-Care (44 min podcast)
We focus on self-care in trauma-informed therapy. But it's all too easy to forget to apply it to yourself! Even if you’re well on your way to healing, it’s important to remember that your past experiences may still impact the way you take care of yourself today.
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Why Slowing Down & Reflecting On Our Lives And Values Is So Vital Right Now (YourTango.com)
The unbridled spread of COVID-19 has caused all but essential service providers to drop what we were doing and settle in at home. This forced slowdown is very uncomfortable for most. But, this forced slowdown may not necessarily be a bad thing. With many of us at home, now's a good time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.
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5 Tips to Get You Through the Kavanaugh Investigation (No Matter What Are Your Politics)
Current events this week are extremely triggering and traumatic for many. Here are a few tips from a trauma psychotherapist.
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A Brief Guide to Self-Harm and Unhealed Childhood Trauma [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Self-harm is a commonly misunderstood psychological phenomenon. Some people believe that those who harm themselves are simply stupid because why else a person would do that. Others think that self-harm is only attention-seeking behavior. Some even call it selfish. What is self-harm? Before digging deeper, let’s first define what constitutes self-harm. Self-harmful behavior is a behavioral pattern that results in harm to yourself. A very simple example of that is cutting. Another, more common...
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Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
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Free Mind Matters Online Series -- Build skills to overcome anxiety and increase resilience
In appreciation of and support for the tremendous work you are doing under challenging circumstances, Dibble will be hosting a free, 12-week Mind Matters online series with Dr. Carolyn Curtis and Dixie Zittlow. Unprecedented times, such as these, are stressful and call for everyone to think about ways to help others and themselves. Thus, we see this as an opportunity to offer free, professional development and help you and your staff practice self-care. Join us as we teach the Mind Matters...
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Get Unstuck - Guided Journal & Online Circle
Sometimes a high ACEs score or history of trauma can have you feeling stuck. You see patterns playing out around you and 'to you' and you can't seem to get yourself out of it. I've been there. I've also gotten myself out of it and used all kinds of tools to do it. I am a certified coach who believes in providing people with tools of their own to move into a place of self-leadership. We all have the capacity to heal. It takes work, self-reflection, ownership of our own behaviors and...
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Helping Families Stay Regulated during a Pandemic
As our communities struggle to do what is needed to keep people safe and families work to find a new a “normal” while caring for and educating children at home full time – it can be a lot to handle. Child psychologist and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry offered 8 tips for helping children stay regulated in this recent article from Psychology Today . Dr. Perry was also a part of this video resource for parents, Staying sane while Parenting with Shelter-in-Place! For service providers who would...
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How do you cope? Self-regulation "favorites" from our children! (video)
In a recent chapel time, our children were given the opportunity to "pay if forward" by helping create the video below. You see, part of the lesson was about thanksgiving and generosity, and that generosity is NOT just about sharing money. It's about being the type of people who share compassion and the wisdom that has been gained through difficulty. The children were encouraged to know that they could help other children handle their big feelings in healthy ways by sharing what they had...
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Join Me On My Birthday
Join me live on Facebook @GrandfamilyToday Thursday, March 5, 2020, 9 pm EST for my birthday give back: Developing Self-Care Sense
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20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020 Let someone make you a meal at least once a week and that someone can be anyone (including a fast-food chain restaurant Keep a daily Gratitude Journal and start each day with, “ I am grateful that the World has me” Don’t fold any fitted sheets for the entire year, just roll them into a ball Once a month go to a playground with a friend, a neighbor, sibling, spouse, co-worker and ask them to push you on the swing Stay in the shower or tub 5 minutes longer...
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3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle. My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me. I felt broken, unable to navigate these huge feelings of...
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Resources for ACEs Survivors
With the link between ACEs and health outcomes now firmly established, many people are asking how to help those who have survived ACEs. Often people are seeking written resources. Having developed resilience curricula that were piloted at the University of Maryland School of Public Health and taught to various high-risk populations, I’d like to suggest some resources. As an outgrowth of these trainings, I developed three books that are skills-based and experiential, since information alone...
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Self-Care, Boring Self-Care, And Just Showing Up [laurakhoudari.com]
What Is Self-Care Anyway? I spend a lot of time talking about “self-care,” particularly when I am advising my clients, colleagues, and loved ones to practice it. I tell people to take care of themselves or give specific instruction, to “eat,” “sleep,” or “get outside.” The more I preach the gospel of “self-care,” the more I feel inclined to explore the term itself and its history. Sometimes, what we, or our clients are already doing by “showing up”, is in itself all the self-care that can be...
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Self-Care Empowerment
Our mission at Grandfamily Today always centers around connection and ending isolation for Grandfamilies. Join me free for 5 weeks of Self-Care Empowerment. You can set your own schedule to connect-share-feel empowered! This is interactive! Join us! We will be using email and Marco Polo. If you’ve never used Marco Polo, don’t worry it’s easy and free! It was designed by a married couple to stay in touch with family around the globe. It is video based, but short videos and our group will be...
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Self-care suggestion for Men during the COVID isolation
On The Healing Place Podcast this morning I had the chance to chat with hostess Teri Kamphaus Wellbrock raising awarenesss for guys about their mental health and encouraging men to take this time of isolation to learn more about themselves.
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Self-Compassion Is Your Perfect Present Guidance, Even In The Most Troubled And Turbulent Of Times.
There is one sure form of guidance you can follow every moment of the day, even in today's most turbulent of times, to ensure that you follow the path in life that is truly right for you, truly good for you. The simple way of describing this form of guidance is: making self-loving or self-compassionate choices for yourself in the present moment . Be guided by your heart-sense regarding your every thought and action . When things don’t turn out the way you want them to, instead of blaming and...
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Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Learn 4 simple tools for parents and kids to calm down together. About the presenter: Joyelle Brandt is a self care coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse, to help them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author of Princess Monsters from A to Z...
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Take Care of You in Troubled Times
Self-care strategies work. In my book, “Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Freedom”, I share 35 different strategies, as one-size- doesn’t -fit-all! Today, I’ve got 5 simple tips to share that will help you relax and find your emotional balance. The #1 Most Important Thing to Add to Your Self-Care Routine Limit how much media you consume and how often. I’ve said this for years and now it is absolutely critical. Checking the latest news over and over again is like taking a jackhammer to our nervous...
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Re: Self-Compassion Is Your Perfect Present Guidance, Even In The Most Troubled And Turbulent Of Times.
This is beautiful. I do believe that the heart-sense is indeed the surest form of guidance we have, but for many of us who've experienced childhood trauma, trusting that heart-sense or even finding access to it can be nearly impossible. So many of us have closed our heart spaces out of a need to defend ourselves and survive horrible circumstances, or we've intellectualized everything, getting stuck in our heads (or both). Thanks for these tips on overcoming that, Bob.
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Re: Self-Compassion Is Your Perfect Present Guidance, Even In The Most Troubled And Turbulent Of Times.
Bob, beautifully written. I wish real love could be found in every church. Jesus gave only 2 commandments Love God and Love your neighbor. However, sadly love is the last thing you find in a church. What you get is judgment, meanness, superiority, lack of support. Money is what speaks in most of these houses of God. All you need is 1 kind and loving person to heal. If you are lucky you will find him/her or else the pain never goes away.
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Re: Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Awesome! Sharing on The Healing Place Podcast Facebook page. Excited to edit and publish our interview next week.
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Re: Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Joyelle, these are great ideas. I love that they are the sorts of things that parents and children can do either together OR alone, especially once the parents have taught the children these strategies and modeled their use. It's so helpful to recognize that for trauma survivors, often when they are feeling stressed it's caused by or exacerbated by an ingrained reaction originating in early trauma, and the key to overcoming that is in the body. Thank you for sharing these ideas here (I was...
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Re: To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
I never thought of it this way before, but your take on the whole self-love thing is profound, and clearly comes from a place of experience. I really like what you have to say about how these steps will lead you back to knowing whom to trust, because that knowledge has been there all the while, since the get-go -- it just got knocked offline by childhood trauma. And if it got knocked offline, it can be returned to its original, true state. Thanks, as always, Anna, for posting here.
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Re: We Need to Help More Trauma Survivors Value Self-Care (44 min podcast)
I enjoyed this "drill-down" into how hard it can be for trauma survivors to recognize their need for self-care and to practice it. It's so common for folks with a history of trauma to minimize their experiences and their effects -- it's part of survival, and it tends to be part of the family culture that allows certain types of abuse to persist. I liked what you had to say about how sometimes self-care can be as simple as using your favorite hand lotion--that self-care is about what feels...
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Re: 5 Tips to Get You Through the Kavanaugh Investigation (No Matter What Are Your Politics)
Great tips for actions anyone can take just about any time to relieve stress and process difficult emotions. These sound like good habits to develop so we always have a way to help calm ourselves no matter what is happening in our world. Thank you, Hilary.
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Re: How do you cope? Self-regulation "favorites" from our children! (video)
And it should come as no surprise that the children's ideas for how to cope with difficult and overwhelming emotions are spot on! Thanks so much for sharing this great resource here, Rev. Dr. Chris!
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Re: 20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
Awesome list. These are great ideas for caregivers, who are under so much stress and often struggle to find time for themselves, but they're really applicable for just about anyone, including those recovering from trauma or those serving trauma survivors. Thanks for sharing this great resource, Cathy!
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Re: 20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
Fabulous list! I do a few of these already . . . as I sit here listening to the birds singing happy songs outside my sacred writing space. I will be adding many of these. Thank you! P.S. Sharing this on The Healing Place Podcast FB page , too!
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Re: Resources for ACEs Survivors
These are wonderful. Thank you for sharing, Glenn! To make sure community members can access your books as more recent posts push your post down the Blog Posts list, it would be excellent if you could add these 3 books to this Resources for Downloading folder . Or I can add them if you would prefer; please let me know!
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Re: Free Mind Matters Online Series -- Build skills to overcome anxiety and increase resilience
What a wonderful offering I have to work this Tuesday but I am marking March 31st on my calendar.
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Re: Self-care suggestion for Men during the COVID isolation
Thanks for the shout-out, Jason! And for another hope-infused conversation. You shared such an important message of #PandemicSelfCare for men.
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Re: Get Unstuck - Guided Journal & Online Circle
Such a great resource! - You and the journal. I need this now more than ever. Thank you for sharing!
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Re: Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
True self-care -- difficult to prioritize for anyone, but possibly more so for those with childhood PTSD, because of the tendency to minimize our experiences and to fall prey to depression and anxiety, which often make it harder to just plain function, much less pay attention to and heed our self-care needs. At the same time, self-care essential to healing from childhood PTSD. I don't think healing will happen without it. Thanks, Anna.
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Re: 3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
Joanna, clearly you "get" what it's like to deal with anxiety, especially that which is rooted in early trauma. Your description of how your anxiety manifests itself sure rings a bell with me, and I'm guessing it does so with many others with difficult childhoods. Thanks for sharing your experience-based suggestions for how to manage and overcome anxiety.
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Re: Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
While I agree that these behaviors can be re-traumatizing and are characteristic of dysregulation, in my mind they are all simply symptoms of unaddressed, untreated/undertreated trauma. They're the "cries for help" that tell the person experiencing them (and maybe the people around them) that there's something not quite right. But even after effective treatment of childhood trauma, they can still crop up because those old habits we developed to survive all those years ago die very hard.
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Mental Health Resources and a Self-Care Illustrative Guide [centerforwellnessandnutrition.org]
From Center for Wellness and Nutrition, May 2020 COVID-19 has changed the way we live our day-to-day lives. With many experiencing uncertainties in jobs, healthcare, and support systems, navigating mental health during these times can also be stressful. As the nation struggles to adjust to a new normal in light of the COVID-19 crisis, mental health is perhaps more important than ever. During May, mental health’s value to overall wellness is highlighted as we observe Mental Health Awareness...
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COVID, ACES, and Radical Self-Care
COVID, ACES and Radical Self-Care Dr. LateshIa Woodley, LPC, NCC & Alexis Kelly, MPA COVID Thursday, March 13, 2020, I woke up thinking I love my life, I have the best job in the world, I get to wake up every day and strive to make a difference in the lives of students and families. Little did I know that a few hours later my life, the lives of my family, and the lives of the families that I serve would forever be changed due to the COVID pandemic. Prior to the pandemic, I was leading...
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Re: COVID, ACES, and Radical Self-Care
I am so sorry for your many losses. Your article and way of thinking is so much what we need to keep growing our awareness and understanding of the role of trauma -in the form of ACEs; in the role of racism; in the form of discrimination for other groups that include women; as well as the layers that come through epigenetics and more from multigenerational trauma (and historical trauma) as all potent contributors to the effects of Covid, premature death and so much more. And I appreciate how...