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Behind That Anger is Grief: A Mother-Daughter Relationship

 

I remember last year on Mother’s Day, I was researching articles about complicated mother-daughter relationships and did not seem to find any that described my experience. What sparked this Google search? All the beautiful messages I saw on social media from daughters to their mothers. These messages described a relationship I did not know of. I wondered why instead of honoring my mom I was very angry at her, this time a type of anger that I could not hide, ruminate in silence as I had done for years. Do all daughters get along with their mothers?

My mom moved in with me, my partner and two daughters in Toronto, Canada one year ago after a misadventure in Cameroon, our home country. After spending many years in Europe, I moved with my family to Toronto and she moved back to Cameroon but things did not go as planned. She had been betrayed, lied to by her brother she loved so much. She had invested all her energy, money and focus into her dream of moving back to Cameroon and the Cameroon she had imagined was not the one she met. She was disoriented and very depressed when she moved in with us.

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