I heartily agree with the recommendation above. I have used their Grief Recover Handbook and it's amazing.
Regarding trauma and adoption, I can't recommend Heather Forbes and www.beyondconsequences.com enough. Her work saved our family. She is working very hard in the trauma informed schools movement, but I recommend her parenting books Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control (2 volumes) and Dare to Love as well as her Beyond Consequences LIVE dvd. There are also videos online you can stream. All the best to you!