Reply to "Distress after ACE training"

This brings up a couple of ideas or questions for me.

- I think it is important to put a "warning label" on all talks that address ACES and trauma.  Something like: We are going to talk about adverse experiences/trauma and many of us have had adverse experiences. Even though we won't do anything surprising, just talking about it will wake up ghosts.  It is important to take care of yourself during the talk and later today. Even if you don't think you've had adverse experiences, most of you work with people who have and /or you've been in a position of caring for another human being when you were powerless to help that person... that impacts us too... and those ghosts can wake up too.

Then it is also important to frame the conversation away from blame.  Trauma get's passed from one generation to the next. It is passed socially and epigenetically.  It is important to remember not to blame the parents and grandparents we work with as they also had parents and grandparents with adverse experiences.  It is important to not blame ourselves. Like others we are doing the best we can with what we have.

I also wonder: Why would anyone talk about ACES without talking about resilience? It is easy to understand how ACES impact us, and how prevalent they are. Most of us have a sense of resonance when we hear the information. Long convincing isn't very necessary. The really important information is what to do about it. Dr. Felliti talks about his survey and how he spent time interviewing folks who were resilient.  He concluded that resilience comes "from the deep belief that at one time you really mattered to another human being."  You can't just tell someone that... you have to be that.  And because it is doable, it is a source of hope. And there are lots of short frames that can be used to teach people skills they can use the next day.

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