John Trayser posted:I'm a ZERO in the ACE world. My adopted grand daughter is a 7. She has now been a part of our family for 12 years and says she feels like a ZERO. During a long car ride we came up with the idea of a positive feeling website to encourage students of all ages to have a place with some idea of what ACEs are and how nothing seems to happen if somewhere/somehow you tell your story to that one person that cares.
The trauma of doing the story telling face to face we feel keeps many young people from making that leap of courage and faith. Yet, if you in a private way found a place and time to write your story down and put it somewhere safe...you may have taken the first step toward resilience. As we talked about this idea she said..."Wouldn't it be great if we could set up a club that reaches out to let kids to know how common ACEs are and that they are not alone." If we help diminish the shame part of ACEs wouldn't we all be better off? Where else are they going to find that moment that pours out their story in a safe environment? If it is written out already and could be handed to someone...does that help going forward.
That was the germination point for the idea of NoACEs.club. For if our goal isn't to ELIMINATE ACEs by education and honesty...then are we always going to be dealing with post trauma lives? We even put some music on there like "Right is Right" which Brogan sings a song that I wrote that EVERY child should listen to before they make the wrong decisions about choosing where to belong during their school years...when they are hungry to belong somewhere.
Any thoughts would greatly be appreciated!
With Kindness and Hope,
John Trayser
John Trayser posted:I'm a ZERO in the ACE world. My adopted grand daughter is a 7. She has now been a part of our family for 12 years and says she feels like a ZERO. During a long car ride we came up with the idea of a positive feeling website to encourage students of all ages to have a place with some idea of what ACEs are and how nothing seems to happen if somewhere/somehow you tell your story to that one person that cares.
The trauma of doing the story telling face to face we feel keeps many young people from making that leap of courage and faith. Yet, if you in a private way found a place and time to write your story down and put it somewhere safe...you may have taken the first step toward resilience. As we talked about this idea she said..."Wouldn't it be great if we could set up a club that reaches out to let kids to know how common ACEs are and that they are not alone." If we help diminish the shame part of ACEs wouldn't we all be better off? Where else are they going to find that moment that pours out their story in a safe environment? If it is written out already and could be handed to someone...does that help going forward.
That was the germination point for the idea of NoACEs.club. For if our goal isn't to ELIMINATE ACEs by education and honesty...then are we always going to be dealing with post trauma lives? We even put some music on there like "Right is Right" which Brogan sings a song that I wrote that EVERY child should listen to before they make the wrong decisions about choosing where to belong during their school years...when they are hungry to belong somewhere.
Any thoughts would greatly be appreciated!
With Kindness and Hope,
John Trayser
Hi John
I can sense your sincerity and the story telling piece is a great idea....for some. I didn't check out the entire site however. I stopped when I read this atatement, "NO parents…ZERO…have a child with the intent of hurting them emotionally or physically." This statement is not true. I'm a human trafficking survivor and there are children born for the sole purpose of being sold, exploited, abused and even tortured for the parents to benefit from. A lot of people have a hard time believing this evil exist and that's why this population is left with no resources. I wasn't trafficked by family but I know survivors who were. They have a mountain to climb to reach "normal".
I was taught to do an I was told and to obey. My parents said they beat me because they loved me. Its confusing for them to wrap their head around it when people say, "NO parents…ZERO…have a child with the intent of hurting them emotionally or physically."
Telling my story was so healing. I'm listening to adult children of traffickers now and its so hard for them to articulate their stories. They need help to do this. A site that helps is great but when they unload it all, its the listeners reactions that can make them or break them. So often traumatized victims don't know what is best for them or what is the safest route to take. Unloading it all online can be scary if they were exploted on line by online trolls or sextorted. I find online relationships taboo for me. Too many unknowns out there. Face to face is scary too but once a victim unloads online, their minds can spin with what the receiver of that story will do with it.
Just my 2 cents.
Ruth Rondon