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Reply to "Request for Stories of seeing children hit in businesses"

When tackling this issue, it's always important to keep in mind the stress level and ACE level of the caregiver.  It's SO easy to heap judgement and shame on a caregiver that's already steeped in it, making things worse, not better.  Before I understood trauma I saw a Mom get really frustrated with her kids and shove them to a sitting position in a cart and tell the kids she was done and they were leaving the store.  I felt shocked and upset for the kids and made some comment to her about her being harsh.  Now, I'm more apt to see the stress of the caregiver and think about how I might communicate care to him/her to help reduce the stress.  And now, after parenting an adopted/highly traumatized child I know how really tense it can get in public trying to parent a child whose behavior is challenging due to their own fear and stress (think:  a child screaming at the top of her lungs in a karate dojo parking lot for an hour and a half because she really wanted to try it but was afraid).  Fear of public judgement/shame only increases stress and one's ability to handle things well more challenging. 

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