Ugh, sorry Shirley but having issues with this thread. Basically, My perspective or stage in life is around “getting it,” firstly. What abuse really is or was for me as scapegoat and learning about developmental trauma and being quite positive i or drs. weren’t quite on the right track. I really wished to be cuz it seemed indicative of the times and I hoped any trauma or “stuff” was neatly settled by a stay at Sierra Tucson at 23, Survivors Week at the Meadows (31) others...at 40 I did a trauma timeline at Pias Place and bodily trembled or shook with old thought of “they’re gonna kill me or might.” I left against medical advice but I couldn’t take the unresolved stuff and wanted it over. I wasn’t doing it anymore and doubted anything and everyone. At 47, the ACE thing illuminated a perspective where I didn’t feel it was blame but rather giving back some of the responsibility where it was meant, even though no one else in family had a “problem.” Etc. I do believe the “evil mom” issue must be brought to light or destigmatized to help. Instead of shunned. We need to respect and teach about sensitive individuals as they are valuable but require different rearing. Only success is I became willing to learn (attachment, etc), again and have a thread of hope but the cost has been huge and I support developmental trauma disorder in DSM...but my experience as a child would have never revealed issues as they were “my fault,” or deep embarrassment and shame would never have let me tell a dr. my mom tried to burn my hair off as she knelt on me because-I was not to play with matches.-
don’t know if you want my cautionary tales and roaring roller coaster story as it’s not anything I would consider success except I guess I’m learning my own-bravery without artificially producing it thru high risk. It’s mine. So I’m in the works, I hope