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I'd recommend the book When Children Grieve - by John W James and Russell Friedman - and the corresponding community-based 4-session class titled Helping Children with Loss, which teaches parents and other youth serving people how to listen to their children and how to help them give voice to the feelings they have surrounding a variety of types of losses - or traumas.  You can find more about the program at www.griefrecoverymethod.com under the Find Support tab.  

 

I would like to offer you 4 tools/exercises to test out and see if they help. ( ACEs IMMUNITY ) Is it taboo to talk about healing ACEs and trauma? It seems like a basic goal to me even if it is a placebo, knowing healing can happen is a good thing. Lots have been done with the polyvagal theory of unfinished fight or flight reaction to stress and abuse. My first exercise is for finishing this fight or flight or "play dead" reaction that is stuck in our autonomic nervous system. I call it Finding Your Lion Heart. It is presented as an acting exercise to keep it one step away from your actual memories.  All CHM / Trauma is outer-directed and we are the victim.  This is inner-directed and we are always the victor.  As our wounding is a form of state-bound learning and imprinting we must get close to that original state to reverse and finish the F or F event with a different outcome. ( all imaginary like a video game ) But our body reacts as if it was real plus we are in control. This is the reverse of being out of control. The side effects of Finding your Lion Heart is the end of fear, the end of anger and the end of pain. ( they have a limit and are not infinite) Also when you let loose of your control of these primal emotions in private then you gain control in public. Then it is with the end of pain that self-compassion is born and then available to others. See ( https://www.stephenporges.com/ )

 The second exercise Heart Light Meditation is a high quality powerful connected breathing meditation. How to walk your head and mind down to your heart and be in your heart.  At the end when your heart is open you put 20+ images of what you love in your heart. In the first process at the end you destroy worlds. The world of pain and the world of abuse and the world of neglect and so on.  These subconscious images and events are replaced with what you do love and want. The world is the first image then the solar system then your self at ages when you were having fun. Children pets and images of nature and things that you like a lot and want more of.

The first two exercises are a direct mirroring of Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory and Bessel A. van der Kolk's work with healing trauma with an acting class.

The third process is Polarity Flip Flops.  This goes directly to your body and trains your mind to feel the effects of each polarity.  Our trauma is held in our body subconsciously in the same place as to how we walk.  Over time this exercise trains your body to recognize polarity and be able to move to the opposite with ease. Fear is a poll with the opposite. Stress is the same and on it goes with all subconscious unwanted behavior is really a single habit or reaching for only one poll. We say that people always have a choice.  This is not true if no choice is found in our subconscious, The exercise gives more choices and a way to access them at the level of habit. ( autonomic ) This is pure Psychoneuro-ReEduKinesiology.

And the last process is Talking to the Parts of Self. This is also key and core to all our relationships outside our skin. Parents, kids, lovers, and business are all modeled on our inner relationships with the parts of self.  Think with this process you can increase your self-love 400% and intelligent decisions by 400% plus do all kinds of trust-building and conflict resolutions.  We become the therapist to the parts of ourself and this can be relationship therapy, family therapy, trust-building, healing past wounds, ( momma your trauma) and on it goes until you are good with all your parts of self.

The first 4 videos are the ACEs IMMUNITY process. The others are some videos on why this works.

https://www.youtube.com/playli...gIhMEKCry7UgVofa0J-P

 

To be effective with Finding your Lion Heart then this video is good also.  Forgive You and only YOU.  https://youtu.be/2cj3yuF8NYk

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