What's Wrong v. What Happened ?

Nick, 

Thanks for your thoughtful post. Your overarching point reminds me of the concept of accountability in restorative justice. While the restorative justice approach is often very specific to a population of adolescents and teenagers being served in a school setting, I think it might serve as a model for how practitioners can ask both questions: What happened to you and what's wrong?

I wrote briefly about how restorative justice is part of the violence-prevention and healing approach in Oakland, Calif. (here is the story link), but I wonder if other ACEs Connection members have examples of other programs or interventions that focus both on accountability and healing in a trauma-informed manner. The state of Illinois has a good primer on using restorative justice in schools, and in the meantime, I invite other members to share other examples from different disciplines of how to achieve the delicate balance you've mentioned. 

Rebecca:

Many thanks for this helpful response, and especially the reference to restorative justice, which certainly addresses the need to acknowledge and address someone's background experiences as well as trying to redress issues. 

Nick 

I once saw a book with the title "What's Right With You?" I increasingly include this with individuals and groups - in addition to "What Happened?" It speaks to resiliency, strengths and what can be built on. It is an attention getting question because our culture focuses on the perceived gap between where we think we are and where we think we want to be. In my own healing and as I witness and support the healing process of others it seems that often what we "think" bears little resemblance to the amazing reality of who we are and how we can evolve, In adding "What's Right With You?" to the other questions, we may be more apt to identify a key: our bliss (real bliss rather than spaced out dissociated pleasure) which is there for us to follow as an impeccable guide for our well being (per Joseph Campbell, "Follow your bliss").

Thank you for opening this conversation!

I work in a residential treatment facility in Corvallis, Oregon and we are in the process of becoming a Sanctuary Model institute and we are actively working toward re framing our thought process in regards to our clients and one of those thoughts is "what is wrong with you" vs " what has happened to you". It is amazing how your perspective changes.

One of the many benefits of the question, "What happened to you?" is that it focuses on the client's needs, and doesn't pathologize, making the person and/or his/her behaviors, etc. the problem. It seeks, instead to uncover causes of suffering--for that person, and/or for others. Of course there is something not working in a life or lives if a person or family has come into therapy, the social services system, etc.There's a difference between "something" being wrong and a person being seen/treated as wrong, diseased, or the problem (which is too often the framework for the question/attitude of "What's wrong with you?"). After all (and unfortunately) the emphasis in this question is usually on the last two words, not the first.

Also (and unfortunately), given the difficulty ACEs-aware folks are having in building traction for policy and structural changes in treatment and other forms of care, I don't see the decades-old, blaming, diseased-focused mantra, "What's wrong with you?" being replaced by another anytime soon.

As a community manager, I would like to remind all members that we want to encourage openness and dialogue on ACEs Connection. If you find yourself disagreeing with a fellow member, please try to keep in mind that we are all here to make a positive difference with regard to understanding and treating ACEs. Please be sure that your responses reflect those values. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. 

Thanks,

Rebecca